The good news is:
* My rent is paid.
* My bills are paid.
* My car has gas in it.
* I have a room for Dragon*Con [cheers,
mechturtle
Yay!
The bad news is:
I turned on my phone today and got this. No luck after popping the battery or charging. Screen damage.
That's the cellphone I've had for oh, three years now. It's a G2, which I bought used when my last phone died. And now it has died too.
I don't have a landline. My cellphone is my only phone.
Due to the fact I've been sick I'm out of paid time off so my next check will be small.
BOO.
But all is not lost!
My little pickle is your fortune!
ART SALE!
How do I commission art?
Leave a comment or tweet me @skyliting or @indigo_
What do I get?
400 x 400 pixel drawing of yourself or your character or fanart. Nothing more than a PG-13 rating. Small prop. Extra characters are additional. Animation is additional.
Where do I see samples of your work?
deviantART: http://indigeaux.deviantart.com/
Google: https://plus.google.com/photos/103120214
OK, how much you asking?
$10 per image, that's all!
* My rent is paid.
* My bills are paid.
* My car has gas in it.
* I have a room for Dragon*Con [cheers,
mechturtle Yay!
The bad news is:
I turned on my phone today and got this. No luck after popping the battery or charging. Screen damage.
That's the cellphone I've had for oh, three years now. It's a G2, which I bought used when my last phone died. And now it has died too.
I don't have a landline. My cellphone is my only phone.
Due to the fact I've been sick I'm out of paid time off so my next check will be small.
BOO.
But all is not lost!
My little pickle is your fortune!
ART SALE!
How do I commission art?
Leave a comment or tweet me @skyliting or @indigo_
What do I get?
400 x 400 pixel drawing of yourself or your character or fanart. Nothing more than a PG-13 rating. Small prop. Extra characters are additional. Animation is additional.
Where do I see samples of your work?
deviantART: http://indigeaux.deviantart.com/
Google: https://plus.google.com/photos/103120214
OK, how much you asking?
$10 per image, that's all!
Hope you're hungry. Here's som Martin Luther King Jr's Birthday Food
for Thought.
Eat up.
Racism, despite the protests of pundits and bloggers, is not "over".
Not by a longshot.
Not while:
We have a black president who received 4 times as many death threats
as any other president, specifically on account of his race.
Not while we have people sending out pictures of monkeys and apes
labeling it "The Obama Family"
Not while we have people sending out pictures of Barack Obama dressed
as a pimp and Michelle Obama dressed as a prostitute.
Not while we have people sending out pictures implying there's
domestic violence between Barack and Michelle Obama.
Not while we have politicians sending out pictures of the White House
Lawn replanted with watermelons, and KFC buckets.
Not while people try to defend the president by saying he's biracial,
because there are many a person out there who simply don't care. His
skin and hair denote and code him as a black person, so he's black.
Not while there are white people who still think it's okay to hang
nooses "as a joke" when there are people alive whose family members
died this way at the hands of white people and say anybody offended
is "just being sensitive".
Not while there are white people who don't understand why it's
offensive to First Nation Peoples to wear feathered headdresses when
their ancestors are the ones who abused, assimilated and killed the
First Nation Peoples' ancestors.
Not while there are people who want to use the N word in "a non-racist
way". They don't seem to grasp that there is no non-racist way to use
that word. It was created to be oppressive. It was created to demean,
deride, and degrade. Anytime that word is used by someone who is not
a person of color, it is racist because of its extensive and painful
history of how it has been used. People of color may or may not
choose to reclaim it but white people complaining about not being
allowed to use it is not helpful.
Not while there are people who in all honesty and sincerity ask why
there's BET but why there's Telemundo, why there's KTN but not White
Entertainment Television when all television defaults to
white entertainment television, and that in any medium where the
characters are written originally as characters of color -- when
Hollywood produces them they hire white actors to play those roles and
people rationalize/justify it by saying "they picked the best actor
for the role" when the casting calls specify specifically caucasian
actors. See "The Last Airbender". See "Akira".
Not while we teach MLK's "I Have A Dream" speech, watered down to be
palatable rather than his other speeches which can be a bit more
inflammatory for also being honest.
Not while talk show hosts and other celebrities can say "Ling long,
ching chong" and pull their eyes back but not understand why that's
harmful and offensive.
Not while Hollywood won't even finance a film with an all black cast.
Not while Hollywood continues to code "white" as good and pure and
"dark" as bad and evil. See: The Muppets vs. The Moopets.
Not while Hollywood keeps making Mighty Whitey movies. See "Avatar".
Not while Hollywood won't offer roles to actors of color that don't
portray them as negative stereotypes or servants. See George Lucas
speak on his difficulties of getting "Red Tails" released.
Not while white people can with all sincerity say they believe a
person of color is playing "the race card" as if it were some way to
gain an advantage over white people. There's a history of oppression,
assimilation, obliteration and erasure over years which is still
institutionalized to keep people of color as getting less than those
of white complexion. People of Color still make less money for the
same work as a white person doing the same job. Men of color make less
than white men. Women of color make less than white women. Even if
there were such a thing as a race card, institutionalized
racism means that it would still not give People of Color an
advantage because white people as the masters of society is that
deeply entrenched.
Not while politicians still make out people of color as the reason and
cause for all of America's ills. Not while they still try to keep
education away from people of color.
Not while politicians say people of color were better off as
slaves because then our families would at least be intact (never mind
that as slaves people of color could be sold away from family members
they were forced to birth in the first place)
Not while politicians say that we should return to segregation.
Not whle "jungle fever" is considered slumming, and women who date
people of color considered "inferior" for doing so.
Not while the idea of restitution is scoffed at for those people of
color whose labor made many white families rich. If those slaves ahd
been paid, those families would be far less prosperous than they are
today with their old money handed down generation to generation.
Not while DWB [driving while black] still holds a greater chance for
an arrest and a conviction for a smaller offense than the same offense
perpetrated by a white person. Not while the prisons are filled with
people of color for minor infractions, but white people who commit the
same infractions are let off with a slap on the wrist.
Not while white people can see statistics of people of color vs. white
for arrests/convictions and say "well those people should stop
committing the crimes" and ignore their own people committing the same
crimes and not being punished as severely.
Not while a college professor can be arrested getting into his own home.
Not whle a child of color's hair can be cut for playing with it
because the white teacher got frustrated.
Not while a child of color can break his leg and be forced to crawl
across the ice because he's "a big boy".
Not while children of color are forbidden from performing in ballet
recitals because their hair is not "in a bun".
Not while white persons treat people of color like resources and
educational materials. We are not books or videotapes. There are
such things out there if you want to know by people who chose to
educate as part of their vocation.
Not while white persons demand "equal treatment" by way of
scholarships since "the people of color get all the scholarships"
when there are already scholarships out there for people of Irish,
Russian, Armenian, Italian, Spanish, French and whatever else ethnic
origin.
Not while white kids can get drunk and murder a black man on
camera and show no remorse for what they've done, and think of it
as fun.
Not while reports show up on twitter and the news of customers getting
receipts referring to them as LADY CHINKY EYES or CHING and CHONG.
Not while white kids can call it "spoons" and treat it like a game to
throw things at a lone PoC from a van full of whtie people.
Not while Martin Luther King's birthday is only more occasion for a
sale and his name reduced to MLK.
Not while civil rights activists are dismissed, ignored, and
assassinated and those responsible do not have to face consequences.
Not while the majority whip out the Tone Argument to say Black People
have too much rage. But when people of color have asked politely for
rights, the masters of society have not raised a finger from their
place of privilege to do anything to change things so that the playing
field is truly, truly equal across color lines.
Not while white people pooh-pooh the experiences of People of Color as
'oversensitive' or 'overreacting' and tell us to 'get over it
already'.
True equality means this systematic and institutional discrimination
against races is gone. Completely. And the majority of well-meaning
white people don't realize how entrenched it is. The minority of
white people who benefit from this privilege like it the way it
is and don't really want to see it changed.
And yes, you can Google everything I've mentioned here to see if it's
true. I encourage you to do so. Overcome your natural tendency to
scoff and say "oh, it can't be that bad."
for Thought.
Eat up.
Racism, despite the protests of pundits and bloggers, is not "over".
Not by a longshot.
Not while:
We have a black president who received 4 times as many death threats
as any other president, specifically on account of his race.
Not while we have people sending out pictures of monkeys and apes
labeling it "The Obama Family"
Not while we have people sending out pictures of Barack Obama dressed
as a pimp and Michelle Obama dressed as a prostitute.
Not while we have people sending out pictures implying there's
domestic violence between Barack and Michelle Obama.
Not while we have politicians sending out pictures of the White House
Lawn replanted with watermelons, and KFC buckets.
Not while people try to defend the president by saying he's biracial,
because there are many a person out there who simply don't care. His
skin and hair denote and code him as a black person, so he's black.
Not while there are white people who still think it's okay to hang
nooses "as a joke" when there are people alive whose family members
died this way at the hands of white people and say anybody offended
is "just being sensitive".
Not while there are white people who don't understand why it's
offensive to First Nation Peoples to wear feathered headdresses when
their ancestors are the ones who abused, assimilated and killed the
First Nation Peoples' ancestors.
Not while there are people who want to use the N word in "a non-racist
way". They don't seem to grasp that there is no non-racist way to use
that word. It was created to be oppressive. It was created to demean,
deride, and degrade. Anytime that word is used by someone who is not
a person of color, it is racist because of its extensive and painful
history of how it has been used. People of color may or may not
choose to reclaim it but white people complaining about not being
allowed to use it is not helpful.
Not while there are people who in all honesty and sincerity ask why
there's BET but why there's Telemundo, why there's KTN but not White
Entertainment Television when all television defaults to
white entertainment television, and that in any medium where the
characters are written originally as characters of color -- when
Hollywood produces them they hire white actors to play those roles and
people rationalize/justify it by saying "they picked the best actor
for the role" when the casting calls specify specifically caucasian
actors. See "The Last Airbender". See "Akira".
Not while we teach MLK's "I Have A Dream" speech, watered down to be
palatable rather than his other speeches which can be a bit more
inflammatory for also being honest.
Not while talk show hosts and other celebrities can say "Ling long,
ching chong" and pull their eyes back but not understand why that's
harmful and offensive.
Not while Hollywood won't even finance a film with an all black cast.
Not while Hollywood continues to code "white" as good and pure and
"dark" as bad and evil. See: The Muppets vs. The Moopets.
Not while Hollywood keeps making Mighty Whitey movies. See "Avatar".
Not while Hollywood won't offer roles to actors of color that don't
portray them as negative stereotypes or servants. See George Lucas
speak on his difficulties of getting "Red Tails" released.
Not while white people can with all sincerity say they believe a
person of color is playing "the race card" as if it were some way to
gain an advantage over white people. There's a history of oppression,
assimilation, obliteration and erasure over years which is still
institutionalized to keep people of color as getting less than those
of white complexion. People of Color still make less money for the
same work as a white person doing the same job. Men of color make less
than white men. Women of color make less than white women. Even if
there were such a thing as a race card, institutionalized
racism means that it would still not give People of Color an
advantage because white people as the masters of society is that
deeply entrenched.
Not while politicians still make out people of color as the reason and
cause for all of America's ills. Not while they still try to keep
education away from people of color.
Not while politicians say people of color were better off as
slaves because then our families would at least be intact (never mind
that as slaves people of color could be sold away from family members
they were forced to birth in the first place)
Not while politicians say that we should return to segregation.
Not whle "jungle fever" is considered slumming, and women who date
people of color considered "inferior" for doing so.
Not while the idea of restitution is scoffed at for those people of
color whose labor made many white families rich. If those slaves ahd
been paid, those families would be far less prosperous than they are
today with their old money handed down generation to generation.
Not while DWB [driving while black] still holds a greater chance for
an arrest and a conviction for a smaller offense than the same offense
perpetrated by a white person. Not while the prisons are filled with
people of color for minor infractions, but white people who commit the
same infractions are let off with a slap on the wrist.
Not while white people can see statistics of people of color vs. white
for arrests/convictions and say "well those people should stop
committing the crimes" and ignore their own people committing the same
crimes and not being punished as severely.
Not while a college professor can be arrested getting into his own home.
Not whle a child of color's hair can be cut for playing with it
because the white teacher got frustrated.
Not while a child of color can break his leg and be forced to crawl
across the ice because he's "a big boy".
Not while children of color are forbidden from performing in ballet
recitals because their hair is not "in a bun".
Not while white persons treat people of color like resources and
educational materials. We are not books or videotapes. There are
such things out there if you want to know by people who chose to
educate as part of their vocation.
Not while white persons demand "equal treatment" by way of
scholarships since "the people of color get all the scholarships"
when there are already scholarships out there for people of Irish,
Russian, Armenian, Italian, Spanish, French and whatever else ethnic
origin.
Not while white kids can get drunk and murder a black man on
camera and show no remorse for what they've done, and think of it
as fun.
Not while reports show up on twitter and the news of customers getting
receipts referring to them as LADY CHINKY EYES or CHING and CHONG.
Not while white kids can call it "spoons" and treat it like a game to
throw things at a lone PoC from a van full of whtie people.
Not while Martin Luther King's birthday is only more occasion for a
sale and his name reduced to MLK.
Not while civil rights activists are dismissed, ignored, and
assassinated and those responsible do not have to face consequences.
Not while the majority whip out the Tone Argument to say Black People
have too much rage. But when people of color have asked politely for
rights, the masters of society have not raised a finger from their
place of privilege to do anything to change things so that the playing
field is truly, truly equal across color lines.
Not while white people pooh-pooh the experiences of People of Color as
'oversensitive' or 'overreacting' and tell us to 'get over it
already'.
True equality means this systematic and institutional discrimination
against races is gone. Completely. And the majority of well-meaning
white people don't realize how entrenched it is. The minority of
white people who benefit from this privilege like it the way it
is and don't really want to see it changed.
And yes, you can Google everything I've mentioned here to see if it's
true. I encourage you to do so. Overcome your natural tendency to
scoff and say "oh, it can't be that bad."
I am posting on two platforms. LJ is preferred, but you can comment on Dreamwidth if you wish.
Comments there:
Various factors have put me in a bad spot financially. Again.
My health has exacerbated the money sitch because I have been either too sick or in too much pain to work as steadily as I'd like. FMLA has protected my job, but my current check is much lower than usual due to this and a number of other factors.
The good news, though, is that![[personal profile]](http://s.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
thehobbit has offered me a vehicle at a price I can afford and this will help alleviate the health factors that have caused me so much trouble. She's willing to take payments and give me time to budget for it.
But the way my budget normally works, rent is taken up by this check, and it'll be two weeks until the next one which gives me a little wiggle room after I pay the bills. I'd rather hedge my bets against the sort of things that seem to happen when I'm climbing out of a financial chuckhole on the road to progress. Plus it will give me a chance to set up a down payment, get the insurance running again, and arrange to have the registration set up without it having a major negative impact on my budget, thus keeping me in the black and out of the red.
Hence: Art Sale!
Digital Only: I don't have the car yet, so I won't be able to get to the post to deliver. And postage -- extra money.
Social Media Avatars: Formerly known as LJ icons/userpics. These are 4" by 4" drawings sized down to avatar size, about 250 x 250 pixels, so you can use them on your social medium of choice: LJ, FB, G+ ETC.
Pricing: After looking at the prices of other artists on G+ and other sites, I realized I was doing myself no favors by drastically underpricing my work. Price has gone up to $10. But in exchange you are getting a 300 dpi 250 x 250 image instead of a less high resolution image at 100 x 100.
Factors: This is still not a lot of "canvas" to work with. I can put in one person and a prop. Or two people. Usually an icon will be a bust -- head and shoulders. I have enough room to work in a hobby or an interest. You are encouraged to be as detailed as you like so I can give you something you'll be pleased with. Providing me with reference to draw from is also encouraged and appreciated.
Animation: I can and will do simple animation. So if you want your character applauding, waving, winking, blinking or exuding hearts, I can do it. This will add $10 to the price though because there is extra and/or repeated drawing involved to make the animation happen.
A second person: Adds $5 to the price.
Limitations: No nudity or pornographic images.
Your original character: Your original character from pretty much any fandom. If I'm too unfamiliar with the fandom to comfortably have a go at drawing it, I'll let you know.
Scanned-In Pencil drawing: Just what it says on the label. I will draw your character in pencil and scan it in for you. You will receive a full body shot of your character. You are encouraged to be as detailed as you like so I can give you something you'll be pleased with. Providing me with reference to draw from is also encouraged and appreciated.
Pricing: $15. Scan will be 300 dpi at 600 pixels across.
Factors: A second person will add $5 to the pricee.
Animation: Not available.
Limitations: PG-13 only. No nudity or pornographic images.
Artist Trading Cards: Your original character, or a character from comics, or animation. TV fandom is a bit too widespread for me to manage and I have a limited knowledge of Urban Fantasy when it comes to book fandom. If you're willing to give me reference to work from, we can sort out whether I am able to work out what you'd like.
Your character of choice on a 2.5 by 3.5 bristol board. drawn with NRB pencil and inked with brush pen. I will scan in the drawing and do coloring digitally. Artist Trading Cards are the sole exception to the DIGITAL ONLY rule but receiving the shipment for them will have to wait until I actually do have a vehicle again.
Pricing: $20
Factors: A second person will add $5 to the price.
Animation: Not available.
Limitations: PG-13 only. No nudity or pornographic images.
Comics: Pretty much anything from Marvel or DC (predating the DCnU), and I can Google anything else.
Webcomics: I read a couple hundred webcomics. I will not do fanart for Penny Arcade but pretty much anything else goes.
Animation: Examples available on my deviantArt.
Examples: http://indigeaux.deviantart.com/gal
Live Action TV: True Blood, Doctor Who, Misfits, Torchwood, Firefly, pretty much anything that airs on SyFy that isn't an Original Movie.
Examples: http://indigeaux.deviantart.com/gal
Mashups are a specialty.
I can negotiate other fandoms with reference.
Jams: https://picasaweb.google.com/1031202141
Avatars: https://picasaweb.google.com/1031202141
camwyn Your ATC is digitally colored and awaiting shipment when I have my vehicle. Here's your icon version:
lilacsigil Your icon is ready: 
skjam your icon is ready: 
My health has exacerbated the money sitch because I have been either too sick or in too much pain to work as steadily as I'd like. FMLA has protected my job, but my current check is much lower than usual due to this and a number of other factors.
The good news, though, is that
thehobbit has offered me a vehicle at a price I can afford and this will help alleviate the health factors that have caused me so much trouble. She's willing to take payments and give me time to budget for it. But the way my budget normally works, rent is taken up by this check, and it'll be two weeks until the next one which gives me a little wiggle room after I pay the bills. I'd rather hedge my bets against the sort of things that seem to happen when I'm climbing out of a financial chuckhole on the road to progress. Plus it will give me a chance to set up a down payment, get the insurance running again, and arrange to have the registration set up without it having a major negative impact on my budget, thus keeping me in the black and out of the red.
Hence: Art Sale!
Digital Only: I don't have the car yet, so I won't be able to get to the post to deliver. And postage -- extra money.
What's Available and Price List:
Social Media Avatars: Formerly known as LJ icons/userpics. These are 4" by 4" drawings sized down to avatar size, about 250 x 250 pixels, so you can use them on your social medium of choice: LJ, FB, G+ ETC.
Pricing: After looking at the prices of other artists on G+ and other sites, I realized I was doing myself no favors by drastically underpricing my work. Price has gone up to $10. But in exchange you are getting a 300 dpi 250 x 250 image instead of a less high resolution image at 100 x 100.
Factors: This is still not a lot of "canvas" to work with. I can put in one person and a prop. Or two people. Usually an icon will be a bust -- head and shoulders. I have enough room to work in a hobby or an interest. You are encouraged to be as detailed as you like so I can give you something you'll be pleased with. Providing me with reference to draw from is also encouraged and appreciated.
Animation: I can and will do simple animation. So if you want your character applauding, waving, winking, blinking or exuding hearts, I can do it. This will add $10 to the price though because there is extra and/or repeated drawing involved to make the animation happen.
A second person: Adds $5 to the price.
Limitations: No nudity or pornographic images.
Your original character: Your original character from pretty much any fandom. If I'm too unfamiliar with the fandom to comfortably have a go at drawing it, I'll let you know.
Scanned-In Pencil drawing: Just what it says on the label. I will draw your character in pencil and scan it in for you. You will receive a full body shot of your character. You are encouraged to be as detailed as you like so I can give you something you'll be pleased with. Providing me with reference to draw from is also encouraged and appreciated.
Pricing: $15. Scan will be 300 dpi at 600 pixels across.
Factors: A second person will add $5 to the pricee.
Animation: Not available.
Limitations: PG-13 only. No nudity or pornographic images.
Artist Trading Cards: Your original character, or a character from comics, or animation. TV fandom is a bit too widespread for me to manage and I have a limited knowledge of Urban Fantasy when it comes to book fandom. If you're willing to give me reference to work from, we can sort out whether I am able to work out what you'd like.
Your character of choice on a 2.5 by 3.5 bristol board. drawn with NRB pencil and inked with brush pen. I will scan in the drawing and do coloring digitally. Artist Trading Cards are the sole exception to the DIGITAL ONLY rule but receiving the shipment for them will have to wait until I actually do have a vehicle again.
Pricing: $20
Factors: A second person will add $5 to the price.
Animation: Not available.
Limitations: PG-13 only. No nudity or pornographic images.
Fandoms I am familiar with:
Comics: Pretty much anything from Marvel or DC (predating the DCnU), and I can Google anything else.
Webcomics: I read a couple hundred webcomics. I will not do fanart for Penny Arcade but pretty much anything else goes.
Animation: Examples available on my deviantArt.
Examples: http://indigeaux.deviantart.com/gal
Live Action TV: True Blood, Doctor Who, Misfits, Torchwood, Firefly, pretty much anything that airs on SyFy that isn't an Original Movie.
Examples: http://indigeaux.deviantart.com/gal
Mashups are a specialty.
I can negotiate other fandoms with reference.
Other examples of my work are available on g+
Jams: https://picasaweb.google.com/1031202141
Avatars: https://picasaweb.google.com/1031202141
Interested? commission.indigo@gmail.com is the PayPal email address.
I am posting on two platforms. LJ is preferred, but you can comment on Dreamwidth if you wish.
Comments there:
Update:
camwyn Your ATC is digitally colored and awaiting shipment when I have my vehicle. Here's your icon version:lilacsigil Your icon is ready: skjam your icon is ready: - Current Mood:
determined
So last night after a long hard day at work, my awesome coworker Shay (who is tickled that my boyfriend's name is Shay) took me home.
She bid me good night, I bid her get home safe, and I walked up the stairs to my apartment, pulling out my key as I went.
I put the key in the lock, and -- the lock didn't turn.
I must be tired, I think, and try it again. The lock still doesn't turn.
I must be doing something wrong, I think, and try it again. Definition of insanity is trying to same thing over and over and expecting a different result, so after making sure I had used the right key, I checked and made sure I was standing in front of the right apartment. I was.
I look down at the lock for the first time and realize it is brass and black. The lock on my door was brass all the way through, no black. The apartment complex seems to have changed my locks, I realized at that point, and went very WTF.
I don't see a note stuck in my door like usual, so I glance around. It seems to have fallen to the floor, so I open it up and it chirpily informs me:
So I call the new phone number.
It rings once, then goes directly to busy signal. I figure that's kinda weird, but maybe they've got maintenance on the line already given how much trouble I've had with getting stuff fixed.
So I try the old number, since it's the only other one. I get a recording that says "The number you have dialed is not permitted."
So now I've gone from "huh" to "wtf my lock has been changed" to "wtf no good phone number" to the beginnings of a fine, slow seethe.
I callederispope, apologizing for bothering her, but it was 11 pm by that point, and I was standing out in the dark by myself and feeling a little freaked out, stressed out, unsafe and angry. She was sympathetic because she rocked, and agreed with me that it was illegal to change locks on a tenant who'd confirmed paying her rent, whcih I was. I got back from Dragon*Con and saw they had not yet deposited my check. So I called to ask them if they got it okay and they confirmed to me they did get the payment for the rent but due to Labor Day they were delayed in getting all the rent deposited.
So I was certain they had my rent, but at this point equally certain that I had no way into my apartment because the locks had been changed. So I got on the web with my phone and looked up a local locksmith and called them to ask them to come out. I told them what happened, and they said as long as I could show a lease after they got me in the door it was all ok with them.
heldc and geekymimi made sensible suggestions so while I waited for the locksmith, I also called the Marietta Police department and told them what had happened. The lady at the dispatch line was very friendly and helpful and agreed that it was illegal to lock me out with less than sixty days notice and no written notification. She sent an officer. heldc also called me so I would have someone to talk to.
shaycaron leaped to help me. jarodrussell offered to help out with paying the locksmith if need be.
The locksmith guy got lost in the complex before finally getting to me, and since I'd called the police, I told him to hold off on doing anything, once he confirmed that the lock that had been replaced was supposedly not one he could pick. He could knock the lock out and give me a new one because otherwise my apartment would be lacking a lock. I had been ready to agree to that before I called the police, but once I'd called the police I said I would prefer not to do anything until I spoke to the police.
The officer, whose name I forgot to get while I was in such a distressed state, was the only less than helpful person in this whole mess. He was polite, but not terribly friendly, and sort of talked down to me.
He informed me that if there was a dispute between me and the management of the apartment complex . He said if I wanted to sue, it would have to be a civil matter, "like on Judge Judy." He read the letter as described above, and then read it to the dispatch person. He told me all he could do was check the number for the complex and try to get straightened out. If they said that my locks had been changed because I hadn't paid my rent, they could not do anything for me. They couldn't kick down the door, nor could they suggest the locksmith break the lock and get me a new one. He said all he could do was try to get the complex on tthe phone. Which he did, and he got the same problem I did. Busy signal or "not permitted" on the old number. But I felt the whole time like he was thinking me some little scammy skank trying to get in an apartment that wasn't mine. Even asked me if I had the lease on me. Like I carry my lease around all the time. And he left without ever introducing himself or offering me his card. (Which I was too flustered to think to ask for. It was all I could do to remain polite and not tremble during our conversation. I was already mad and being treated like I'd done something wrong in our "innocent until proven guilty" American society was seriously rankling).
My mother texted me to wish me a happy birthday and tell me she hoped I'd have an exciting day. I told her that it was exciting in a manner of speaking and let her know what was going on. She of course freaked out.
So rather than pay the labor charge and the new lock charge, I ended up paying the service charge (just for the locksmith to show up, which I was not advised about in advance). It was only $30. But the locksmith was nice enough to give me a ride to QT so I could hit an ATM since he couldn't take plastic for less than $100. I was about to go put myself in a hole and check into the Motel 7 next door.
At that point, the artist formerly known asfd0man had discovered my plight due to me frantically and furiously tweeting about things as they happened. He asked me if I'd gotten into my apartment yet. I told him no, and he said he was on his way to come get me. So I stood for about an hour in the QT, because it was well lit and safe.
Mike got me and I got to the BLEMHouse, whereotenkiyachan was waiting to give me her wonderful "everything is going to be okay" hugs. I swear, the woman exudes pheremones that make you feel safe and comforted and loved. They went to bed, and I was still too keyed up to sleep, so I stuck my phone on the charger and tried to calm down from the adrenaline rush of being so pissed off.
I woke the next morning at about 8 and called SunTrust to ask them if they could confirm the fact that they had sent out my check to arrive inside the timeframe. They confirmed they had and offered to fax proof that they'd sent out the check, but they needed a good number. I told them what happened with the numbers. New one would ring then go busy, and the old one gave the 'not permitted' recording. They were willing to be very helpful and tried the numbers themselves, confirming that they were getting the same results I was getting. They said that if I called from the leasing office they'd be happy to fax proof then. I thanked them and hung up.
I drovemorganne13 to work in the BLEMvan, so the BLEMvan would be free so we could sort it out. I called SunTrust again to get them to fax me the proof of payment. Whoever I spoke to this time was very nice, very friendly, but told me they didn't want to fax anything with my account information for safety and security reasons, but I could get proof they sent out my payment on the web and print that to take with me. They said they'd gladly talk to the leasing office if that was not sufficient.
While I'd been driving Leesa to work, Mike had done the legwork/research and had printed out all the relevant tenant/landlord law that supported my assertion that locking me out with no notice was in fact illegal. We stapled together that sheaf of paper and then I contacted http://www.promove.com and let them know I'd be interested in looking for a new apartment in the next 30 days.
Mike was nice enough to get me lunch at McDonald's, then we headed back to the leasing office where we found out the truth of the situation was bigger, worse, and more fusterclucky than I could have even imagined.
When I walked in, I was the first of no less than three sets of upset tenants. The AA asked me how she could help me. I told her what had happened:
I'd been illegally locked out of my apartment
With no notice
with nothing in writing but the friendly little note informing me of new management
and a phone number that didn't work.
and because of these things and others, I wanted the manager immediately.
The AA apologetically informed me the manager was out on the property somewhere but she'd be back shortly, asked me if I would mind waiting. I said I would definitely wait, and sat down. At which point I had a minute to realize the leasing office was in complete disarray. Furniture all over the place, and freshly repainted, as so:
Beside me sat a pair of young women, one of whom was trying to hold it together because she was unemployed and her mother had just died and she'd spent all she had paying for the funeral, and just needed a little time to pay. Her roommate/sister/partner, I don't know which, described to me a huge ordeal that made my #lightbulbsaga seem like a walk in the park.
They had a water heater or a boiler that had caught fire, so there was no heat. The a/c vent had been repaired erroneously so all their a/c went up into a neighbouring apartment rather than theirs, and when they asked about the pool being green and the gate being open, they were told "it costs too much" to repair either of those, and that Flagstone Village was "no longer a gated community". There were also apparently mold issues and water issues -- which I'd known about because these were among the problems that I'd been given as excuses for why my a/c hadn't been fixed during my #lightbulbsaga
Promove called back but I told them now wasn't a good time. They were friendly and apologetic about that and said they'd call back when it was more convenient for me.
Eventually the new manager showed up and showed me into her office, at which point I reiterated the whole ordeal from the time I got home, emphasizing that My pets had food but might be out of water, and that I had been locked away from my medication, and had been forced to call both the police and a locksmith I hadn't been able to make use of. I pointed out that given my history with the complex since 2011 started, they should have had detailed records with all of my contact information because I had gone to great pains to make myself easy to reach while these problems were being worked on. They acknowledged that might have been true, but the outgoing management staff had not left them any records to work with, nor even the previous database to work from.
The manager apologized effusively and explained that the transition was going rougher than planned because the staff outgoing used a different database, they'd taken everything with them and only left a partial ledger with little to no contact information. They confirmed with the finance person that I had paid my rent with a bank check. The manager took my key and sent someone right then and there to restore my lock.
While this discussion was happening, the power went out in the leasing office. The manager excused herself and after a few minutes, we heard that the complex had not paid its electric bill so there was a $3000 backbill, and time had just run out on it -- hence the power going out. And they had no UPS backups for any of their computers, so there went what little info they had on databases.
After more time talking to them, we also were apologetically told that the phone system was not working at all. They'd changed the lines over but they couldn't get a dial tone nor receive calls. Mike offered his services as IT Man, and offered to see if there was something he could do. He discovered that the entire phone system had been torn entirely out of the wall. There's supposed to be a T1, there was no sign of it. And all the wires that were supposed to route to the different extensions in the office were all ripped out of the wall and dangling free. So that explains the no dialtone, no calls in or out, and the busy signal.
Then the reason my locks had been changed? Because they had only an old paper ledger and no recent database to go by, they had my apartment down on paper as vacant. I asked, hotly, didn't they have eyes to see that the apartment was furnished, and obviously occupied with utilities running. More profuse apologies, and the explanation I received for that was that the previous management had been doing things kind of shady and underhanded and had not properly evicted people. So there were multiple apartments that legitimately were vacant, with abandoned furniture and belongings in them, or with residents squatting there even though they weren't supposed to be there because no one had changed the locks. So they were going through apartment by apartment and chaging all the locks on the vacant list.
The manager apologized again, and said they'd take off the money I was charged for the locksmith, and the gas spent to get me to safe place to stay for the night. My mother helpfully texted at just the right moment suggesting also my day's pay since I had to call in to work to fight this battle. I had the receipt for the locksmith, and Mike had a photo of the total on the pump (which worked out because the gas pump's receipt was out of paper or something). They asked me to send them in how much I get paid and they'd reimburse me that amount as well or take it off the rent. I scanned the receipt and emailed it to them on the spot. Mike emailed the pump photo. This means that I will get at least $100 off next month's rent. They gave me back my key and advised the locks had been restored.
Mike may have ended up with some contract work as temp IT guy for them since he was able to identify their problem with their phone system and point them toward a solution, and if I decide the management company this new team works for is on the up-and-up I may send them my resume because clearly they need some help in the customer service department.
Mike took me back to my apartment. I checked the key to make sure it works; it does.
I got inside to some cats in high dudgeon (and my mattress pad needs to be laundered because one cat or another threw up on it to drive home the point of leaving them being uncool with them). So I will probably also charge them for laundry.
I'm disgusted at the unprofessional and destructive behaviour of the previous management team (I'm guessing they took all their data because it'd have been easy to prove something shady with the money was happening and they destroyed the phone system out of pure childish spite), but the new management team was Johnny on the Spot getting my locks fixed, and offering to make reparations for the time and money spent due to this entire mess. But the new team seems genuinely apologetic and jumped to offer to make up for the inconvenience and stress I had to go through to resolve this mess.
They got the property fair and square since Ventron got foreclosed on, but it was a pig in a poke (I think that's the saying). They inherited a mess and got set up with sabotage by the outgoing staff.
I am now at the BLEMHouse chilling out since it is, after all, my birthday, and I didn't want to just spend it lying around my apartment by myself. Promove is due to give me a call back in about half an hour.
heldc suggests a lawyer, and I will consider it. Since they really did do the illegal thing. And at the bare minimum, they could've given me 24-48 hours as a courtesy before they locked me out and we could've settled the whole thing with one phone call. So it was a mistake caused not by their own malice, but the malice of the previous management. And they did agree to take off a day of my pay from the rent as well as the gas (just on a photo of the pump). So I'm inclined to think they really were operating on a misunderstanding from bad info they were given. I'm willing to give them a chance.
Promove should be calling any minute; we'll see what we'll see there.
[1] Grammatical and spelling errors are theirs.
She bid me good night, I bid her get home safe, and I walked up the stairs to my apartment, pulling out my key as I went.
I put the key in the lock, and -- the lock didn't turn.
I must be tired, I think, and try it again. The lock still doesn't turn.
I must be doing something wrong, I think, and try it again. Definition of insanity is trying to same thing over and over and expecting a different result, so after making sure I had used the right key, I checked and made sure I was standing in front of the right apartment. I was.
I look down at the lock for the first time and realize it is brass and black. The lock on my door was brass all the way through, no black. The apartment complex seems to have changed my locks, I realized at that point, and went very WTF.
I don't see a note stuck in my door like usual, so I glance around. It seems to have fallen to the floor, so I open it up and it chirpily informs me:
Dear Residents,
As you have been previously informed, Flagstone Village is currently under new management. We are very excited about all the new changes to come and we are looking forward to assisting you during our transition. We welcome you to come in and meet our new office staff at your earliest convenience.
Among all the many new changes to come, we have recently changed our phone number, the new main office number is (xxx) xxx-xxxx please use this number to contact the office staff or for any maintenace request during or after hours [1] We are updating our system and files to be of better service to you,s o we are requesting current contact information from all our valued residents. Please come in or call to provide us with your current contact information as soon as possible. We thank you for your patience and your timely repsonds in this matter.
Best Regards,
Flagstone Village Management
[phone number repeats]
So I call the new phone number.
It rings once, then goes directly to busy signal. I figure that's kinda weird, but maybe they've got maintenance on the line already given how much trouble I've had with getting stuff fixed.
So I try the old number, since it's the only other one. I get a recording that says "The number you have dialed is not permitted."
So now I've gone from "huh" to "wtf my lock has been changed" to "wtf no good phone number" to the beginnings of a fine, slow seethe.
I called
erispope, apologizing for bothering her, but it was 11 pm by that point, and I was standing out in the dark by myself and feeling a little freaked out, stressed out, unsafe and angry. She was sympathetic because she rocked, and agreed with me that it was illegal to change locks on a tenant who'd confirmed paying her rent, whcih I was. I got back from Dragon*Con and saw they had not yet deposited my check. So I called to ask them if they got it okay and they confirmed to me they did get the payment for the rent but due to Labor Day they were delayed in getting all the rent deposited. So I was certain they had my rent, but at this point equally certain that I had no way into my apartment because the locks had been changed. So I got on the web with my phone and looked up a local locksmith and called them to ask them to come out. I told them what happened, and they said as long as I could show a lease after they got me in the door it was all ok with them.
heldc and geekymimi made sensible suggestions so while I waited for the locksmith, I also called the Marietta Police department and told them what had happened. The lady at the dispatch line was very friendly and helpful and agreed that it was illegal to lock me out with less than sixty days notice and no written notification. She sent an officer. heldc also called me so I would have someone to talk to.shaycaron leaped to help me. jarodrussell offered to help out with paying the locksmith if need be.The locksmith guy got lost in the complex before finally getting to me, and since I'd called the police, I told him to hold off on doing anything, once he confirmed that the lock that had been replaced was supposedly not one he could pick. He could knock the lock out and give me a new one because otherwise my apartment would be lacking a lock. I had been ready to agree to that before I called the police, but once I'd called the police I said I would prefer not to do anything until I spoke to the police.
The officer, whose name I forgot to get while I was in such a distressed state, was the only less than helpful person in this whole mess. He was polite, but not terribly friendly, and sort of talked down to me.
He informed me that if there was a dispute between me and the management of the apartment complex . He said if I wanted to sue, it would have to be a civil matter, "like on Judge Judy." He read the letter as described above, and then read it to the dispatch person. He told me all he could do was check the number for the complex and try to get straightened out. If they said that my locks had been changed because I hadn't paid my rent, they could not do anything for me. They couldn't kick down the door, nor could they suggest the locksmith break the lock and get me a new one. He said all he could do was try to get the complex on tthe phone. Which he did, and he got the same problem I did. Busy signal or "not permitted" on the old number. But I felt the whole time like he was thinking me some little scammy skank trying to get in an apartment that wasn't mine. Even asked me if I had the lease on me. Like I carry my lease around all the time. And he left without ever introducing himself or offering me his card. (Which I was too flustered to think to ask for. It was all I could do to remain polite and not tremble during our conversation. I was already mad and being treated like I'd done something wrong in our "innocent until proven guilty" American society was seriously rankling).
My mother texted me to wish me a happy birthday and tell me she hoped I'd have an exciting day. I told her that it was exciting in a manner of speaking and let her know what was going on. She of course freaked out.
So rather than pay the labor charge and the new lock charge, I ended up paying the service charge (just for the locksmith to show up, which I was not advised about in advance). It was only $30. But the locksmith was nice enough to give me a ride to QT so I could hit an ATM since he couldn't take plastic for less than $100. I was about to go put myself in a hole and check into the Motel 7 next door.
At that point, the artist formerly known as
fd0man had discovered my plight due to me frantically and furiously tweeting about things as they happened. He asked me if I'd gotten into my apartment yet. I told him no, and he said he was on his way to come get me. So I stood for about an hour in the QT, because it was well lit and safe. Mike got me and I got to the BLEMHouse, where
otenkiyachan was waiting to give me her wonderful "everything is going to be okay" hugs. I swear, the woman exudes pheremones that make you feel safe and comforted and loved. They went to bed, and I was still too keyed up to sleep, so I stuck my phone on the charger and tried to calm down from the adrenaline rush of being so pissed off. I woke the next morning at about 8 and called SunTrust to ask them if they could confirm the fact that they had sent out my check to arrive inside the timeframe. They confirmed they had and offered to fax proof that they'd sent out the check, but they needed a good number. I told them what happened with the numbers. New one would ring then go busy, and the old one gave the 'not permitted' recording. They were willing to be very helpful and tried the numbers themselves, confirming that they were getting the same results I was getting. They said that if I called from the leasing office they'd be happy to fax proof then. I thanked them and hung up.
I drove
morganne13 to work in the BLEMvan, so the BLEMvan would be free so we could sort it out. I called SunTrust again to get them to fax me the proof of payment. Whoever I spoke to this time was very nice, very friendly, but told me they didn't want to fax anything with my account information for safety and security reasons, but I could get proof they sent out my payment on the web and print that to take with me. They said they'd gladly talk to the leasing office if that was not sufficient. While I'd been driving Leesa to work, Mike had done the legwork/research and had printed out all the relevant tenant/landlord law that supported my assertion that locking me out with no notice was in fact illegal. We stapled together that sheaf of paper and then I contacted http://www.promove.com and let them know I'd be interested in looking for a new apartment in the next 30 days.
Mike was nice enough to get me lunch at McDonald's, then we headed back to the leasing office where we found out the truth of the situation was bigger, worse, and more fusterclucky than I could have even imagined.
When I walked in, I was the first of no less than three sets of upset tenants. The AA asked me how she could help me. I told her what had happened:
and because of these things and others, I wanted the manager immediately.
The AA apologetically informed me the manager was out on the property somewhere but she'd be back shortly, asked me if I would mind waiting. I said I would definitely wait, and sat down. At which point I had a minute to realize the leasing office was in complete disarray. Furniture all over the place, and freshly repainted, as so:
 |
| From Instant Upload |
Beside me sat a pair of young women, one of whom was trying to hold it together because she was unemployed and her mother had just died and she'd spent all she had paying for the funeral, and just needed a little time to pay. Her roommate/sister/partner, I don't know which, described to me a huge ordeal that made my #lightbulbsaga seem like a walk in the park.
They had a water heater or a boiler that had caught fire, so there was no heat. The a/c vent had been repaired erroneously so all their a/c went up into a neighbouring apartment rather than theirs, and when they asked about the pool being green and the gate being open, they were told "it costs too much" to repair either of those, and that Flagstone Village was "no longer a gated community". There were also apparently mold issues and water issues -- which I'd known about because these were among the problems that I'd been given as excuses for why my a/c hadn't been fixed during my #lightbulbsaga
Promove called back but I told them now wasn't a good time. They were friendly and apologetic about that and said they'd call back when it was more convenient for me.
Eventually the new manager showed up and showed me into her office, at which point I reiterated the whole ordeal from the time I got home, emphasizing that My pets had food but might be out of water, and that I had been locked away from my medication, and had been forced to call both the police and a locksmith I hadn't been able to make use of. I pointed out that given my history with the complex since 2011 started, they should have had detailed records with all of my contact information because I had gone to great pains to make myself easy to reach while these problems were being worked on. They acknowledged that might have been true, but the outgoing management staff had not left them any records to work with, nor even the previous database to work from.
The manager apologized effusively and explained that the transition was going rougher than planned because the staff outgoing used a different database, they'd taken everything with them and only left a partial ledger with little to no contact information. They confirmed with the finance person that I had paid my rent with a bank check. The manager took my key and sent someone right then and there to restore my lock.
While this discussion was happening, the power went out in the leasing office. The manager excused herself and after a few minutes, we heard that the complex had not paid its electric bill so there was a $3000 backbill, and time had just run out on it -- hence the power going out. And they had no UPS backups for any of their computers, so there went what little info they had on databases.
After more time talking to them, we also were apologetically told that the phone system was not working at all. They'd changed the lines over but they couldn't get a dial tone nor receive calls. Mike offered his services as IT Man, and offered to see if there was something he could do. He discovered that the entire phone system had been torn entirely out of the wall. There's supposed to be a T1, there was no sign of it. And all the wires that were supposed to route to the different extensions in the office were all ripped out of the wall and dangling free. So that explains the no dialtone, no calls in or out, and the busy signal.
Then the reason my locks had been changed? Because they had only an old paper ledger and no recent database to go by, they had my apartment down on paper as vacant. I asked, hotly, didn't they have eyes to see that the apartment was furnished, and obviously occupied with utilities running. More profuse apologies, and the explanation I received for that was that the previous management had been doing things kind of shady and underhanded and had not properly evicted people. So there were multiple apartments that legitimately were vacant, with abandoned furniture and belongings in them, or with residents squatting there even though they weren't supposed to be there because no one had changed the locks. So they were going through apartment by apartment and chaging all the locks on the vacant list.
The manager apologized again, and said they'd take off the money I was charged for the locksmith, and the gas spent to get me to safe place to stay for the night. My mother helpfully texted at just the right moment suggesting also my day's pay since I had to call in to work to fight this battle. I had the receipt for the locksmith, and Mike had a photo of the total on the pump (which worked out because the gas pump's receipt was out of paper or something). They asked me to send them in how much I get paid and they'd reimburse me that amount as well or take it off the rent. I scanned the receipt and emailed it to them on the spot. Mike emailed the pump photo. This means that I will get at least $100 off next month's rent. They gave me back my key and advised the locks had been restored.
Mike may have ended up with some contract work as temp IT guy for them since he was able to identify their problem with their phone system and point them toward a solution, and if I decide the management company this new team works for is on the up-and-up I may send them my resume because clearly they need some help in the customer service department.
Mike took me back to my apartment. I checked the key to make sure it works; it does.
I got inside to some cats in high dudgeon (and my mattress pad needs to be laundered because one cat or another threw up on it to drive home the point of leaving them being uncool with them). So I will probably also charge them for laundry.
I'm disgusted at the unprofessional and destructive behaviour of the previous management team (I'm guessing they took all their data because it'd have been easy to prove something shady with the money was happening and they destroyed the phone system out of pure childish spite), but the new management team was Johnny on the Spot getting my locks fixed, and offering to make reparations for the time and money spent due to this entire mess. But the new team seems genuinely apologetic and jumped to offer to make up for the inconvenience and stress I had to go through to resolve this mess.
They got the property fair and square since Ventron got foreclosed on, but it was a pig in a poke (I think that's the saying). They inherited a mess and got set up with sabotage by the outgoing staff.
I am now at the BLEMHouse chilling out since it is, after all, my birthday, and I didn't want to just spend it lying around my apartment by myself. Promove is due to give me a call back in about half an hour.
heldc suggests a lawyer, and I will consider it. Since they really did do the illegal thing. And at the bare minimum, they could've given me 24-48 hours as a courtesy before they locked me out and we could've settled the whole thing with one phone call. So it was a mistake caused not by their own malice, but the malice of the previous management. And they did agree to take off a day of my pay from the rent as well as the gas (just on a photo of the pump). So I'm inclined to think they really were operating on a misunderstanding from bad info they were given. I'm willing to give them a chance. Promove should be calling any minute; we'll see what we'll see there.
[1] Grammatical and spelling errors are theirs.
I am posting on two platforms. LJ is preferred, but you can comment on Dreamwidth if you wish.
Comments there:
- Current Mood:
relieved
The young man in this photo stole this Legolas standee from the Dragon*Con Tolkien Track room sometime between 9pm & 10pm on Saturday night. There was a panel going on when he took it. If you know him, please ask him to contact:
jwwert@gmail.com
This is the rightful owner of the standee, who generously donated it to the Tolkien track room for decoration. No hard feelings will be had, just having it back is all they care about. It is written in pen on the back of the standee “Wert”.
It seems every year there are people who mess with the con by stealing or doing other stupid stuff.
Please spread the word about this person having stolen from a generous donator to the con. I don’t know if the owner will get his property back, but justice being done would be a nice consolation.
I am posting on two platforms. LJ is preferred, but you can comment on Dreamwidth if you wish.
Comments there:
- Current Mood:disgusted
Free Icon Day
I'm going to borrow one out of the playbook of wise
djinni.If you request an icon, you get one. Everybody who requests an icon gets one. Digital only.
If you want to see my icons to date, they are here: Commissioned Icons, Userpics, and Avatars
or as a slideshow, Slideshow
Icon Day FAQ
How many icons can I request?
One request per person unless tips generate sufficient to the next level. See below.
How long are requests open?
Requests were open from Aug 6 to Aug 10. They are now CLOSED.
What do you need to draw an icon?
A good reference link to the picture of you or whatever you want me to draw. Please include it with the icon request.
How much do you charge per icon?
For this icon day, Tips are accepted, and profoundly, deeply appreciated -- but not required.
How quickly will I get my icon?
I have a day job, so I will only be able to work on them on my days off. Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays. I will get as many as I can done per day, need to eat and sleep notwithstanding.
What are the rules?
While I can draw:
- Fan art
- Furry style
- Chibi style
- Other art styles from animation:
- Butch Hartmann (Danny Phantom/Fairly Oddparents)
- Phineas and Ferb
- Kim Possible
- Hanna Barbera/WB
... I'd prefer to stay away from copyrighted characters, other art styles, or celebrities due to the legal issues and complexities thereof.
Tip Levels
If I reach $20 in tips - I get a pizza.
If I reach $50 in tips - I get to go grocery shopping and every icon will get toonshadows.
If I reach $100 in tips - I will give two icons to every icon requestor who has left a tip. I'll make an announcement with the link to the original post. Reply to your own original request, advise me you tipped.
If I reach $300 in tips, I will reproduce the icon of everyone who tipped as an ATC in blue pencil.
If I reach $500 in tips - Everyone who tipped will get their first icon reproduced as an ATC in blue pencil and ink.
FYI: If you leave a tip, PayPal will show you donated to Ardent Tomato Studio
If you have any questions, feel free to comment with them on my original post or email commission(dot)indigo(at) gmail.
Icons so far:
delight's family is having a lot of troubles. Her living situation is unsafe and now her mother's insurance denied the surgery she needs for her breast cancer. delight is trying to raise 8k by the 1st of May and is taking donations here. Even if you can only send $5 her way, every little bit counts. meloukhia is auctioning off 3 short stories to be written based on your prompts or ideas, and the details can be found here. marika_kailaya is offering 100 words per $1 donated on a topic of your choosing or a small pocket-sized hand-bound book for every $15 donated here.If you want to donate something for an auction,
meloukhia started ![[community profile]](http://s.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
helpfordelight. If you can't help out, then at least boost the signal, please. Nobody should have to die because the goddamned insurance companies are too cheap to pay for their treatment.
I am posting on two platforms. LJ is preferred, but you can comment on Dreamdwidth if you wish.
Comments there:
- Current Mood: calm
What is it like to suffer from depression?
That's a question I get asked a lot, since people never realize it to look at me. Because I, y'know don't look depressed. (You may wanna visit butyoudontlooksick.com for more insight from other people with invisible illnesses.)
Actually, yes, I do. I look depressed. People who suffer from depression look just like everybody else. It doesn't mean we're incapable of smiling. We're not incapable of laughter or happiness. It's just more difficult for us. That we're not crying all the time doesn't mean we're not struggling every day. That people believe depressed people should be crying all the time or they're not really depressed is an ignorant fiction put forward by the media.
For the purposes of this essay, the first thing I want you to do, reader, is imagine you are a telekinetic. Your mind lets you move or hold things. Okay? Good. Cool, right?
Wait.
Now imagine that your telekinesis must be used to hold a 20 ton weight eighteen inches over your head.
You know, one of those big cartoon weights, like on Bugs Bunny. Got that mental image firmly in place? Good. Now imagine you have to live your life from day to day with that huge weight over your head -- that will CRUSH YOU FLAT if you waver in your telekinetic vigilance. You cannot relax even a little of your mental energy, except when you're asleep. Keep in mind that no one else can see that weight, nor could they take it off you if they could see it. But it's there. And if your strength and concentration wavers, it could drop an inexorable inch toward your head. Or it could come all the way down and flatten you like a pancake. Medication may make it a little easier to hold it up, but that's all it does.
You have to get out of bed, and brush your teeth and take a shower, and get dressed with that weight overhead. And you can't let your concentration waver while you're brushing your teeth, or soaping up, or picking your outfit for the day. You have to walk outside and get in your car with that weight held up. You have to navigate the traffic. Find a parking space.
Forever.
Until you die.
And now, keep in mind while you're negotiating your life, day in and day out with a weight overhead you can never remove, you have to watch the world blow off what you're dealing with on TV as nowhere near as horrible an experience as you know it is. "Take your meds" and "seek help" are terms society treats as codewords for normal people without depression who are just acting in a way some person finds inconvenient. "Emo" is a term society treats as a codeword for "teenager who just wants attention". Medication is "happy pills" because popping a pill is considered an instant cure. It's not a cure. The medications just make the weight a little lighter. And they don't work for everybody, so the ones they might work for don't take them as seriously as they might because people blow them off as "happy pills".
Society -- at least in the US -- has this idea that mental illness is just weakness on the part of the sufferer. That we're just "not TRYING hard enough" and that "everybody gets depressed but you don't stay depressed forever unless you do it on purpose." The world is telling you that the weight you know for a fact -- because you deal with it every day -- is over your head is not really there, and you are just a weakling, or an attention whore for having trouble coping with life since you have to work so hard not to be smushed by it.
And oh, by the way -- without insurance? Those prescription medications often dismissed as "happy pills" usually cost about about one-sixth to one-quarter of a paycheck. And that's if you have the job I have and make what I make. You make less than I do, you're gonna have a harder time with affording it. So good luck holding up that weight without help.
If that analogy doesn't work, there's a breakdown beyond the jump because there are those who might find it triggery.
( What's it like to be depressed? Keep reading.Collapse )
My depression is why I seek a compassionate life and why I try to stay away from things that hurt and upset me. Why I speak up and encourage others to be compassionate.
My depression is why I speak up against the "I'm just being brutally honest" thing that usually is just a dodge for "I feel like being an asshole but I don't feel like taking responsibility for my intellectual dishonesty and cruelty".
My depression is why I wrote this very long post so that people who don't suffer from the clinical types like I do might understand better if they care to. I get the feeling caring is not much in vogue these days, but that might just be the depression talking. Help prove me right?
My depression is why I will laugh in the face of people who say there are people out there faking depression. Or who just do it for attention.
* Stress image by webslinger9 from deviantArt
Feel free to copy and repost as long as it is used in its entirety and credited.
That's a question I get asked a lot, since people never realize it to look at me. Because I, y'know don't look depressed. (You may wanna visit butyoudontlooksick.com for more insight from other people with invisible illnesses.)
Actually, yes, I do. I look depressed. People who suffer from depression look just like everybody else. It doesn't mean we're incapable of smiling. We're not incapable of laughter or happiness. It's just more difficult for us. That we're not crying all the time doesn't mean we're not struggling every day. That people believe depressed people should be crying all the time or they're not really depressed is an ignorant fiction put forward by the media.
For the purposes of this essay, the first thing I want you to do, reader, is imagine you are a telekinetic. Your mind lets you move or hold things. Okay? Good. Cool, right?
Wait.
Now imagine that your telekinesis must be used to hold a 20 ton weight eighteen inches over your head.
 |
| From Drop Box |
You have to get out of bed, and brush your teeth and take a shower, and get dressed with that weight overhead. And you can't let your concentration waver while you're brushing your teeth, or soaping up, or picking your outfit for the day. You have to walk outside and get in your car with that weight held up. You have to navigate the traffic. Find a parking space.
Forever.
Until you die.
And now, keep in mind while you're negotiating your life, day in and day out with a weight overhead you can never remove, you have to watch the world blow off what you're dealing with on TV as nowhere near as horrible an experience as you know it is. "Take your meds" and "seek help" are terms society treats as codewords for normal people without depression who are just acting in a way some person finds inconvenient. "Emo" is a term society treats as a codeword for "teenager who just wants attention". Medication is "happy pills" because popping a pill is considered an instant cure. It's not a cure. The medications just make the weight a little lighter. And they don't work for everybody, so the ones they might work for don't take them as seriously as they might because people blow them off as "happy pills".
Society -- at least in the US -- has this idea that mental illness is just weakness on the part of the sufferer. That we're just "not TRYING hard enough" and that "everybody gets depressed but you don't stay depressed forever unless you do it on purpose." The world is telling you that the weight you know for a fact -- because you deal with it every day -- is over your head is not really there, and you are just a weakling, or an attention whore for having trouble coping with life since you have to work so hard not to be smushed by it.
And oh, by the way -- without insurance? Those prescription medications often dismissed as "happy pills" usually cost about about one-sixth to one-quarter of a paycheck. And that's if you have the job I have and make what I make. You make less than I do, you're gonna have a harder time with affording it. So good luck holding up that weight without help.
If that analogy doesn't work, there's a breakdown beyond the jump because there are those who might find it triggery.
( What's it like to be depressed? Keep reading.Collapse )
My depression is why I seek a compassionate life and why I try to stay away from things that hurt and upset me. Why I speak up and encourage others to be compassionate.
My depression is why I speak up against the "I'm just being brutally honest" thing that usually is just a dodge for "I feel like being an asshole but I don't feel like taking responsibility for my intellectual dishonesty and cruelty".
My depression is why I wrote this very long post so that people who don't suffer from the clinical types like I do might understand better if they care to. I get the feeling caring is not much in vogue these days, but that might just be the depression talking. Help prove me right?
My depression is why I will laugh in the face of people who say there are people out there faking depression. Or who just do it for attention.
* Stress image by webslinger9 from deviantArt
Feel free to copy and repost as long as it is used in its entirety and credited.
This post is pretty much my remembrance of the funeral for my little nephew:
This may be uncomfortable reading for some, or painful.
Please skip if it triggers or hurts.
But I feel it is only right to share what of the experience I could bring back with my friends who lent support to Christian and his parents through cyberspace and through me.
( Graphic heavyCollapse )
The family wishes to make sure that you all know how very much your kindness and thoughts, prayers and condolences have meant to them in their time of grief.
And they hope, as do I, the next time we all come together over the vast expanse of cyberspace, it will be to celebrate something happy rather than to come together in the face of tragedy.
UPDATE:
After a good night's sleep, I remember more.
The house was full of flowers and plants. As was the funeral home.
On top of that, a friend of my sister ordered a baby remembrance necklace for Christian. It's a circle with a heart cut out, and a stone representing sapphire, which would've been Christian's birthstone if he'd gone to term. And the inscription on it says "you will be in my heart forever."
I know I mentioned the NICU nurses showing up, and the doctor. I'd never known that to happen before with a baby who had been in the hospital for so long.
Christian Alexander Pressley
May 29, 2010 - August 16 2010
May 29, 2010 - August 16 2010
 |
| From Christian's prayer card for the service. |
This may be uncomfortable reading for some, or painful.
Please skip if it triggers or hurts.
But I feel it is only right to share what of the experience I could bring back with my friends who lent support to Christian and his parents through cyberspace and through me.
( Graphic heavyCollapse )
The family wishes to make sure that you all know how very much your kindness and thoughts, prayers and condolences have meant to them in their time of grief.
And they hope, as do I, the next time we all come together over the vast expanse of cyberspace, it will be to celebrate something happy rather than to come together in the face of tragedy.
UPDATE:
After a good night's sleep, I remember more.
The house was full of flowers and plants. As was the funeral home.
On top of that, a friend of my sister ordered a baby remembrance necklace for Christian. It's a circle with a heart cut out, and a stone representing sapphire, which would've been Christian's birthstone if he'd gone to term. And the inscription on it says "you will be in my heart forever."
I know I mentioned the NICU nurses showing up, and the doctor. I'd never known that to happen before with a baby who had been in the hospital for so long.
Ok, July/Aug has been hellish, as y'all know.
I got shorted a check from my Short Term Disability.
Monday I go back to work.
I could not get a deal on financing for a car that I can afford because apparently even the good deals start at $300/month, which is half of one paycheck.
I have a stock sale going but it won't finish until next week.
I will have to take the bus.
I don't have money for bus fare or groceries at this point.
So -- the usual icon sale. I don't really have any other options. I've been racking my brains.
commission.indigo@gmail.com if you want to purchase an icon. $7 per icon.
Examples of icons done to date can be found here.
I got shorted a check from my Short Term Disability.
Monday I go back to work.
I could not get a deal on financing for a car that I can afford because apparently even the good deals start at $300/month, which is half of one paycheck.
I have a stock sale going but it won't finish until next week.
I will have to take the bus.
I don't have money for bus fare or groceries at this point.
So -- the usual icon sale. I don't really have any other options. I've been racking my brains.
commission.indigo@gmail.com if you want to purchase an icon. $7 per icon.
Examples of icons done to date can be found here.
The doctor wouldn't change my medication without another visit and another test.
And since I have a sore throat and my surgery is next week,I ended up with a 2nd prescription.
So I'm shorter on cash than I'd prefer to the tune of overdrawn.
I'm opening up 10 icon slots* at $7 each, icons to be worked this weekend.{
Gallery with examples of icons previously commissioned
I accept payment via old reliable PayPal and you may either describe your commission in your comment below or email me at commission.indigo@gmail.com
1.alryssa
DONE!
2.stevenh
DONE!
3.teague
DONE! (click through for full size)
4.jarodrussell
DONE! (click through to full size)
5.obsidianoffing
DONE! (click through to full size)
6.
dextradawn
DONE!
7.
8.
9.
10.
*drawings suitable for use as Twitter icons, Facebook profile pictures, etc. If you do not want it sized down for LJ icon (100x100 pixels) please let me know the size you prefer instead.
And since I have a sore throat and my surgery is next week,I ended up with a 2nd prescription.
So I'm shorter on cash than I'd prefer to the tune of overdrawn.
I'm opening up 10 icon slots* at $7 each, icons to be worked this weekend.{
Gallery with examples of icons previously commissioned
I accept payment via old reliable PayPal and you may either describe your commission in your comment below or email me at commission.indigo@gmail.com
1.
alryssa2.
stevenh 3.
teague4.
jarodrussell 5.
obsidianoffing6.
dextradawn7.
8.
9.
10.
*drawings suitable for use as Twitter icons, Facebook profile pictures, etc. If you do not want it sized down for LJ icon (100x100 pixels) please let me know the size you prefer instead.
- Current Mood:
artistic
First things first: I am not trying to make anybody feel bad by what I say below. I am trying to work through my own thought process here, so any offense is purely unintentional.
ambelies linked me to a couple threads[1] by people I don't follow, speaking to the idea that it is cultural misappropriation to use the spoon theory if you are:
What is the Spoon Theory?
If you're not familiar with it, here it is from www.butyoudontlooksick.com in PDF form.
Long story short, the spoon theory indicates that a disabled person (in the example above, someone with fibromyalgia) has a limited amoount of energy/resources on any given day, and that that energy/resources may not be the same from day to day. Further, if one pushes through when the resources are low, they will suffer not only depleted resources, but may carry over that depleted resources issue into the next day.
The threads I saw yesterday said they feel it's cultural appropriation to use the spoon theory when able-bodied because when an able-bodied person says "I'm running low on spoons" all they need is a nap, but when a physically disabled person says it they mean they literally cannot push any further. They need to go home and have downtime as close to immediately as possible...and possibly until the next day.
They also said they felt it was appropriative of someone with mental disabilities to use the spoon theory because they aren't suffering physical pain, and that those who are disabled, particularly those with "invisible" physical ailments and complaints are experiencing a dilution of a term they use which they expect will result in them not being taken seriously -- again. (Fibromyalgia in particular has the stigma of "it's all in your head" for a lot of patients before it is properly diagnosed. Also true of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, so that concern is not entirely without merit)
The first problem that strikes me with this idea is that "appropriate" comes off to me as defined in the dictionary, specifically:
Main Entry:
ap·pro·pri·ate
Function:
transitive verb
Inflected Form(s):
ap·pro·pri·at·ed; ap·pro·pri·at·ing
Etymology:
Middle English, from Late Latin appropriatus, past participle of appropriare, from Latin ad- + proprius own
Date:
15th century
1 : to take exclusive possession of : annex
2 : to set apart for or assign to a particular purpose or use [appropriate money for the research program]
3 : to take or make use of without authority or right
Pretty much taking something without the authority or right is one politeness away from accusing someone of stealing, one politeness away from outright saying "How dare you, what gives you the right, who do you think you are?!"
I've heard the able-bodied say that the spoon theory can be universal. I say "not quite."
I've heard the able-bodied say that everybody has limited energy and resources, so doesn't everybody have spoons. So I elaborate.
The able-bodied's spoons are different from the disabled's spoons. The threads that got me thinking make a differentiation even between the physically and mentally disabled spoons as well, hence the contention over appropriation.
An able-bodied person may be able to get up out of bed, use the bathroom, take a shower, wash their hair, get dressed, cook breakfast for themselves and family, drive themselves to work and start working -- all on one spoon. Things an able-bodied person takes for granted are things a physically or mentally disabled person cannot take for granted because a disabled person's resources and energy are consumed in different ways.
A physically disabled person may use a spoon just to get out of bed and use the bathroom. Then they need to ask themselves if they are able to use another spoon to take a shower, and will it cost them yet another spoon to also wash their hair, or can they do it this time? The getting dressed and the movement it involves may cost another spoon. Then there's the cooking of breakfast and the standing and moving and carrying required (not to mention the heat and cold involved [to say nothing of microwaving something less nourishing to save a spoon. Eating something less nourishing may cost a spoon later!]). That may cost another spoon. And then there's driving to work and facing the workday. A disabled person has to keep constant track of how many spoons they have left and weigh everything they do versus how many spoons it's going to cost them to do it.
So yes, we all have finite resources in the course of a day, but the way in which we consume them, and how the disabled must consider how they use theirs are different. So I can see how it might rub the wrong way to a disabled person to have an able-bodied person say "I'm low on spoons," because if they knock back a Red Bull, they are probably likely to be good to go for a few more hours. Or if they eat something and have a quick power nap, they are likelier to be able to keep going for the rest of the day. But when a disabled person says "I'm low on spoons", they mean they are running on fumes, and a Red Bull is not going to help enough to get them to the end of the day. A nap may help, or it may not because of medications required or of pain levels regardless of medication.
I do take exception to the idea that my disabilities don't all fit some people's ideas of disabilities that get to use the spoon theory to describe consumable and only somewhat renewable resources. I take exception to the fact that a person suffering depression can't count spoons because their difficulty with getting out of bed means "they haven't even opened the silverware drawer yet" if they're too depressed to get out of bed.
As someone who suffers 3 types of depression[2], I can tell you that it does cost me a spoon some days just to get out of bed. I can also tell you it is physically painful to be depressed. Look at the commercials for depression medication sometimes. They address that a mental ailment also has a physical pain component. So yes, I experience physical pain, and I am in mental and/or emotional pain that varies from day to day, mitigated by situations, and is worse during the winter or during shark week.
Moreover, as an introvert, I use up more spoons because of my line of work. As an introvert I am capable of being friendly, cheerful, and sociable, but it takes me more effort than it would someone who is an extrovert. I need downtime after a bit to recharge. Not only that but I have to be friendly, cheerful and sociable while doing problem solving and managing my tone and word choice. That's purely mental, but it also effects how well I'm able to cope and/or judge how many spoons I have left for the day.
So yes, some days I have to pick between eating lunch or sleeping through lunch and asking somebody to pick me up lunch when they leave the building which I then break company policy to nibble at my desk. And at the end of the day I get home too tired to cook some days.
As someone who suffers asthma, I can tell you that on days when my breathing is compromised, my energy level depletes faster as I struggle to breathe. Oxygen deprivation tires out the body that much faster. Bad air quality days are automatically lower spoon days for me. Extremely hot days are automatically lower spoon days for me. So if one of the other factors that affect my spoon count are also in play, I'm really going to have to be careful.
So yes, some days I have to stay in the building because walking to my car is enough to exhaust me to the point where I can't make the decision of whether to eat or sleep and I simply must sleep if I'm going to make it the rest of the way through the day.
As someone who suffers sleep apnea, I can tell you that even sleeping with my CPAP and getting more air while I sleep is not always enough to make sure I wake up with a full complement of spoons with which to face the day. And sleeping without the CPAP doesn't always mean a reduction in the amount of spoons I have.
As someone with bad ankles and a disk in my back that slides in and out of place as well as compressed vertebrae, I can tell you that some days the pain is so bad that I have to crawl to the bathroom. Standing up is out of the question, and even sitting is more effort than I can manage. I can tell you that some days I can push through it and keep moving but the energy it takes not to show the pain in face or voice means my energy will run out sooner.
Generally, I do not have the luxury of medication for the pain. I can take Tylenol which makes it less painful for a short time, but then it's dangerous to my body to take so many. I can't take Aleve at all because it doesn't work on me thanks to the blood thinners I take for my Hypertension. For the disk issue and the back spasms? I have a prescription for Flexeril. If I take it, chalk up the day. I have maybe thirty minutes of lucid consciousness left. Then I can't focus or concentrate enough to drive or talk or do anything other than sleep. I told my doctor this and she described a timed release version to see if it helped. It doesn't. Same problem. So that means most days I get up out of bed in pain, take my shower, feed myself, drive to work and spend a whole day at work in pain.
I know people who have other disorders that mitigate their energy level. Social anxiety people go into a physical clone of fight-or-flight and that's exhausting.
Do I do what I can to manage my health issues? Of course.
I'm on medication for the depression, and one of the side effects of said medication is fatigue. Damned if I do, damned if I don't, here; because not on meds, I would sleep all the time to avoid being self-destructive. Now I sleep because I'm tired all the time, no matter what.
I have learned to cope by making lots of rice and throwing some meat on top through the microwave on days I do have spoons so I have something to eat on days I lack enough spoons even to stand at the stove and cook. I know my body wants more protein and less sugar because sugar crashes kill spoons too, so I've adjusted my diet.
I stay inside on bad air quality days. If I have to go outside, I stay hydrated, and I wear a filter mask if it's really bad. I stay away from environments where smokers and/or allergens are likely to aggravate my breathing issues.
I elevate my feet to keep the back pain at bay as best I can. I lock my hair so I don't have to spend extra time doing my hair I could be sleeping, and I don't generally have to lift my arms over my head much. I get friends to help me when I wash it and need it twisted.
I tend to have trouble getting to sleep, so I'm setting up a wireless network so I can laptop from bed until my body is ready to let me sleep so I don't spend time tossing and turning and fighting to drop off.
I walk to increase my stamina and lose weight so the size of my body is less stressful on my heart and joints, and I have had to learn to cope with the concept that not every day is going to be a five thousand step count day. Some days I'll be lucky to mange 500 steps, and I should be proud of it no matter what.
I have learned to manage my emotional state so that I don't get angry or stressed out as easily as I used to. Rage, fear, anger, frustration and the like all consume spoons, and really that's energy I can't use frivolously. So I try not to let the emotions run away with me. Being on meds helps with that too, but not all the time. Sometimes I just have to remember "freaking out about this will not solve anything and it will use up spoons you may want for something else later."
Some of the people on the thread that got me thinking to the point of posting on my own LJ about it say that using the spoon theory for depression when people who are physically disabled use the spoon theory for physical pain level/energy level is like saying as a white woman they know what sexism is like so they know what racism is like too.
My feeling is that you may not have the identical experience between depression and fibromyalgia or sexism and racism, but the former are both ailments and the latter are both forms of oppression -- apples and oranges still have the commonality of being fruit that grows on trees.
My thinking is this:
Maybe a person with CFS has shiny silver soup spoons.
Maybe a person with Fibromyalgia has those durable wooden spoons used in kitchens.
Maybe a person with depression has metal camping spoons.
Maybe a person with depression with a pain component has tough, silicone spoons.
Maybe a person with social anxiety has those long thin sundae spoons for reaching to the bottom of the glass.
Maybe my spoons are big and wide ones. Maybe your spoons are short and deep ones. Can we both still eat metaphorical ice cream with our metaphorical spoons?
Seems to me we can.
So I don't see how my energy depletion issues dilute the significance of someone else's energy depletion issues just because pain is not necessarily always involved with mine.
[1]shadesong and spoothbrush respectively.
[2] Clinical depression, PMS depression and Seasonal Affective Order depression.
ambelies linked me to a couple threads[1] by people I don't follow, speaking to the idea that it is cultural misappropriation to use the spoon theory if you are:- able-bodied
- not suffering from a physical pain related disability
What is the Spoon Theory?
If you're not familiar with it, here it is from www.butyoudontlooksick.com in PDF form.
Long story short, the spoon theory indicates that a disabled person (in the example above, someone with fibromyalgia) has a limited amoount of energy/resources on any given day, and that that energy/resources may not be the same from day to day. Further, if one pushes through when the resources are low, they will suffer not only depleted resources, but may carry over that depleted resources issue into the next day.
The threads I saw yesterday said they feel it's cultural appropriation to use the spoon theory when able-bodied because when an able-bodied person says "I'm running low on spoons" all they need is a nap, but when a physically disabled person says it they mean they literally cannot push any further. They need to go home and have downtime as close to immediately as possible...and possibly until the next day.
They also said they felt it was appropriative of someone with mental disabilities to use the spoon theory because they aren't suffering physical pain, and that those who are disabled, particularly those with "invisible" physical ailments and complaints are experiencing a dilution of a term they use which they expect will result in them not being taken seriously -- again. (Fibromyalgia in particular has the stigma of "it's all in your head" for a lot of patients before it is properly diagnosed. Also true of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, so that concern is not entirely without merit)
The first problem that strikes me with this idea is that "appropriate" comes off to me as defined in the dictionary, specifically:
Main Entry:
ap·pro·pri·ate
Function:
transitive verb
Inflected Form(s):
ap·pro·pri·at·ed; ap·pro·pri·at·ing
Etymology:
Middle English, from Late Latin appropriatus, past participle of appropriare, from Latin ad- + proprius own
Date:
15th century
1 : to take exclusive possession of : annex
2 : to set apart for or assign to a particular purpose or use [appropriate money for the research program]
3 : to take or make use of without authority or right
Pretty much taking something without the authority or right is one politeness away from accusing someone of stealing, one politeness away from outright saying "How dare you, what gives you the right, who do you think you are?!"
I've heard the able-bodied say that the spoon theory can be universal. I say "not quite."
I've heard the able-bodied say that everybody has limited energy and resources, so doesn't everybody have spoons. So I elaborate.
The able-bodied's spoons are different from the disabled's spoons. The threads that got me thinking make a differentiation even between the physically and mentally disabled spoons as well, hence the contention over appropriation.
An able-bodied person may be able to get up out of bed, use the bathroom, take a shower, wash their hair, get dressed, cook breakfast for themselves and family, drive themselves to work and start working -- all on one spoon. Things an able-bodied person takes for granted are things a physically or mentally disabled person cannot take for granted because a disabled person's resources and energy are consumed in different ways.
A physically disabled person may use a spoon just to get out of bed and use the bathroom. Then they need to ask themselves if they are able to use another spoon to take a shower, and will it cost them yet another spoon to also wash their hair, or can they do it this time? The getting dressed and the movement it involves may cost another spoon. Then there's the cooking of breakfast and the standing and moving and carrying required (not to mention the heat and cold involved [to say nothing of microwaving something less nourishing to save a spoon. Eating something less nourishing may cost a spoon later!]). That may cost another spoon. And then there's driving to work and facing the workday. A disabled person has to keep constant track of how many spoons they have left and weigh everything they do versus how many spoons it's going to cost them to do it.
So yes, we all have finite resources in the course of a day, but the way in which we consume them, and how the disabled must consider how they use theirs are different. So I can see how it might rub the wrong way to a disabled person to have an able-bodied person say "I'm low on spoons," because if they knock back a Red Bull, they are probably likely to be good to go for a few more hours. Or if they eat something and have a quick power nap, they are likelier to be able to keep going for the rest of the day. But when a disabled person says "I'm low on spoons", they mean they are running on fumes, and a Red Bull is not going to help enough to get them to the end of the day. A nap may help, or it may not because of medications required or of pain levels regardless of medication.
I do take exception to the idea that my disabilities don't all fit some people's ideas of disabilities that get to use the spoon theory to describe consumable and only somewhat renewable resources. I take exception to the fact that a person suffering depression can't count spoons because their difficulty with getting out of bed means "they haven't even opened the silverware drawer yet" if they're too depressed to get out of bed.
As someone who suffers 3 types of depression[2], I can tell you that it does cost me a spoon some days just to get out of bed. I can also tell you it is physically painful to be depressed. Look at the commercials for depression medication sometimes. They address that a mental ailment also has a physical pain component. So yes, I experience physical pain, and I am in mental and/or emotional pain that varies from day to day, mitigated by situations, and is worse during the winter or during shark week.
Moreover, as an introvert, I use up more spoons because of my line of work. As an introvert I am capable of being friendly, cheerful, and sociable, but it takes me more effort than it would someone who is an extrovert. I need downtime after a bit to recharge. Not only that but I have to be friendly, cheerful and sociable while doing problem solving and managing my tone and word choice. That's purely mental, but it also effects how well I'm able to cope and/or judge how many spoons I have left for the day.
So yes, some days I have to pick between eating lunch or sleeping through lunch and asking somebody to pick me up lunch when they leave the building which I then break company policy to nibble at my desk. And at the end of the day I get home too tired to cook some days.
As someone who suffers asthma, I can tell you that on days when my breathing is compromised, my energy level depletes faster as I struggle to breathe. Oxygen deprivation tires out the body that much faster. Bad air quality days are automatically lower spoon days for me. Extremely hot days are automatically lower spoon days for me. So if one of the other factors that affect my spoon count are also in play, I'm really going to have to be careful.
So yes, some days I have to stay in the building because walking to my car is enough to exhaust me to the point where I can't make the decision of whether to eat or sleep and I simply must sleep if I'm going to make it the rest of the way through the day.
As someone who suffers sleep apnea, I can tell you that even sleeping with my CPAP and getting more air while I sleep is not always enough to make sure I wake up with a full complement of spoons with which to face the day. And sleeping without the CPAP doesn't always mean a reduction in the amount of spoons I have.
As someone with bad ankles and a disk in my back that slides in and out of place as well as compressed vertebrae, I can tell you that some days the pain is so bad that I have to crawl to the bathroom. Standing up is out of the question, and even sitting is more effort than I can manage. I can tell you that some days I can push through it and keep moving but the energy it takes not to show the pain in face or voice means my energy will run out sooner.
Generally, I do not have the luxury of medication for the pain. I can take Tylenol which makes it less painful for a short time, but then it's dangerous to my body to take so many. I can't take Aleve at all because it doesn't work on me thanks to the blood thinners I take for my Hypertension. For the disk issue and the back spasms? I have a prescription for Flexeril. If I take it, chalk up the day. I have maybe thirty minutes of lucid consciousness left. Then I can't focus or concentrate enough to drive or talk or do anything other than sleep. I told my doctor this and she described a timed release version to see if it helped. It doesn't. Same problem. So that means most days I get up out of bed in pain, take my shower, feed myself, drive to work and spend a whole day at work in pain.
I know people who have other disorders that mitigate their energy level. Social anxiety people go into a physical clone of fight-or-flight and that's exhausting.
Do I do what I can to manage my health issues? Of course.
I'm on medication for the depression, and one of the side effects of said medication is fatigue. Damned if I do, damned if I don't, here; because not on meds, I would sleep all the time to avoid being self-destructive. Now I sleep because I'm tired all the time, no matter what.
I have learned to cope by making lots of rice and throwing some meat on top through the microwave on days I do have spoons so I have something to eat on days I lack enough spoons even to stand at the stove and cook. I know my body wants more protein and less sugar because sugar crashes kill spoons too, so I've adjusted my diet.
I stay inside on bad air quality days. If I have to go outside, I stay hydrated, and I wear a filter mask if it's really bad. I stay away from environments where smokers and/or allergens are likely to aggravate my breathing issues.
I elevate my feet to keep the back pain at bay as best I can. I lock my hair so I don't have to spend extra time doing my hair I could be sleeping, and I don't generally have to lift my arms over my head much. I get friends to help me when I wash it and need it twisted.
I tend to have trouble getting to sleep, so I'm setting up a wireless network so I can laptop from bed until my body is ready to let me sleep so I don't spend time tossing and turning and fighting to drop off.
I walk to increase my stamina and lose weight so the size of my body is less stressful on my heart and joints, and I have had to learn to cope with the concept that not every day is going to be a five thousand step count day. Some days I'll be lucky to mange 500 steps, and I should be proud of it no matter what.
I have learned to manage my emotional state so that I don't get angry or stressed out as easily as I used to. Rage, fear, anger, frustration and the like all consume spoons, and really that's energy I can't use frivolously. So I try not to let the emotions run away with me. Being on meds helps with that too, but not all the time. Sometimes I just have to remember "freaking out about this will not solve anything and it will use up spoons you may want for something else later."
Some of the people on the thread that got me thinking to the point of posting on my own LJ about it say that using the spoon theory for depression when people who are physically disabled use the spoon theory for physical pain level/energy level is like saying as a white woman they know what sexism is like so they know what racism is like too.
My feeling is that you may not have the identical experience between depression and fibromyalgia or sexism and racism, but the former are both ailments and the latter are both forms of oppression -- apples and oranges still have the commonality of being fruit that grows on trees.
My thinking is this:
Maybe a person with CFS has shiny silver soup spoons.
Maybe a person with Fibromyalgia has those durable wooden spoons used in kitchens.
Maybe a person with depression has metal camping spoons.
Maybe a person with depression with a pain component has tough, silicone spoons.
Maybe a person with social anxiety has those long thin sundae spoons for reaching to the bottom of the glass.
Maybe my spoons are big and wide ones. Maybe your spoons are short and deep ones. Can we both still eat metaphorical ice cream with our metaphorical spoons?
Seems to me we can.
So I don't see how my energy depletion issues dilute the significance of someone else's energy depletion issues just because pain is not necessarily always involved with mine.
[1]
shadesong and spoothbrush respectively.[2] Clinical depression, PMS depression and Seasonal Affective Order depression.
Rosemary and Rueby Seanan McGuireA review by Indigo |  |
Full Disclosure:
seanan_mcguire has been a good friend of mine for over a decade. I've roleplayed with her online for probably 85% of that time. So I'm very familiar with her prose style, and of course this makes me a little biased.That said, the power of her blonde awesomeness extended across the country. How so? I was having lunch with
erispope and we were chatttering happily about this and that, and the subject of Urban Fantasy came up, as it often does with us. I mentioned enthusiastically that I was looking forward to Rosemary and Rue. She smiled and mentioned she had a copy. After I got through gawping and stammering, I asked her how. She grinned and reminded me she works for a bookstore and an ARC turned up. So she lent it to me so that I could write a review.I personally am a big urban fantasy geek, so the pronunciation guide at front was just a cool add-on, but for readers who are just stepping foot in the genre, that's an awesome feature.
If you've read the other reviews, you know the basics. If not, let me go over them quickly:
October Daye, Toby to her friends, is a changeling - the child of a human/faerie pairing. As such, she can live in both worlds, but is not entirely of either, for obvious reasons. After an event from her past went horribly, tragically, heartbreakingly wrong, she decided to shut off her connectivity with faerie altogether. But an old friend, Countess Evening Winterrose, has died...only it was murder most foul, and the Countess' last act was to charge Toby with finding out the whys and wherefores of who killed her -- or quite literally die trying by cursing her. As a result, Toby now has no choice but to run hither and yon all over San Francisco, trying to avoid asking the fae from the past for help as she races against time to solve Evening's murder before the curse does her in.
Now that the basics are over, here's my take. I pored through the book. I started reading it Saturday night, and finished reading it about mid-evening Sunday with breaks for things like sleep and food. My plan is to go back and read it again, more slowly. But I was left with a lot of thoughts on this first book in the series.
Seanan weaves a cinematically beautiful, vivid and visual world. I have never been to San Francisco. I know it from pictures, descriptions from friends, and what I've seen of it in television in movies. Seanan's descriptions are so vivid I feel very nearly like I visited the city, walking beside Toby. There's a scene on the Bay Bridge that really had me holding my breath.
As if that weren't enough, she describes the faerie places in San Francisco and the way into them from the human world in loving detail. I was stricken breathless by the beautiful but dangerous razor-sharp glass roses in Shadowed Hills, and the way into the Undine's knowe in the Japanese Tea Gardens. The faerie themselves get the same loving attention to detail -- the Kitsune, the Undine, the bridge troll, the adorable rose goblins, and so on. My persistent feeling is that all this beautiful imagery would make an extremely awesome movie, but they shouldn't let anyone but Seanan do the screenplay or it would fall painfully short.
As for characterization? Toby already started out with a plus mark for me. But she's a damn fine character. She's -- hallelujah -- not blonde. She's not a girlie girl who cares about her hair and nails, and she's more comfortable in jeans than in heels. She prefers leather to velvet. But she's also stubborn, suffers from painfully earned self-doubt and self esteem issues, and those cause her to get in her own way when it comes to letting people in or when it comes to asking -- or failing to ask -- for help. She hates being vulnerable, even as it makes her that much more endearing to the reader. To describe her as plucky would be an understatement -- one at which Toby would probably glower and make a crude remark. She's a tough cookie, somewhere between admirably determined and "too dumb to stay down". But that's really going to be something a reader loves about her. And the many regrets she experiences give the "Rue" in Rosemary and Rue a double meaning.
The story is fleshed out and coloured and given layer upon layer of depth by the vast array of characters we meet from Toby's past and present. There are a few I loved and hated within the first few lines I read about them. And since we only got sample tastes of many of them, I am looking forward to the next two books so I can see more of them!
This is a first book, a debut, but the storytelling is crisp and sharp with a saucy tip of the hat to the hardboiled pulp detective. The slower moments make sense and are not jarring to the reader, and the pacing never really slows down entirely, even while Toby's lying unconscious. There are a couple moments that made me go "!!!" for want of a better way to put it, and Seanan's use of tropes is delicate -- like a fine brush adding exquisite detail to an already elaborate painting.
Having read -- no, devoured -- this one, I can say already that I am looking forward to 2010 and the other two books in the series as much as I am dismayed there are only three books in the series.
Rosemary and Rue comes out September First. Get yours!
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Rosemary-Rue-Octo
Barnes & Noble: http://search.barnesandnoble.com/Rosema
Borders: http://www.borders.com/online/store/Tit
Indigo.ca: http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/books/Ros
Public entry.
Life is full of curveballs. One missed me, one didn't.
So I've gotta take the car in for a new tire and check the others (which potentially means that I will need more than one tire because usually when one goes, the others aren't far behind).
I will be able to manage one tire with what's in my uh-oh fund, possibly two and that's all I got.
My bills were paid before this happened, and my next check is my rent so I can't take a bite out of it.
So essentially I need to refill the uh-oh fund.
I'm selling LJ icons at $5 a go.
The existing gallery of previous LJ icons is here.
And FRIENDS ONLY banners if anyone is interested. You get to tell me what size.
And I'm doing character sketches at 8.5 by 11 for $20 a go.
Other stuff people may be interested in is negotiable.
If you're interested in a piece of artwork but I don't have you on the friendslist, please feel free to message me.
Queue begins here:
dansr
jlsigman
fragbert (who has prepaid)
heldc (prepaid)
lilacsigil DONE
Life is full of curveballs. One missed me, one didn't.
So I've gotta take the car in for a new tire and check the others (which potentially means that I will need more than one tire because usually when one goes, the others aren't far behind).
I will be able to manage one tire with what's in my uh-oh fund, possibly two and that's all I got.
My bills were paid before this happened, and my next check is my rent so I can't take a bite out of it.
So essentially I need to refill the uh-oh fund.
I'm selling LJ icons at $5 a go.
The existing gallery of previous LJ icons is here.
And FRIENDS ONLY banners if anyone is interested. You get to tell me what size.
And I'm doing character sketches at 8.5 by 11 for $20 a go.
Other stuff people may be interested in is negotiable.
If you're interested in a piece of artwork but I don't have you on the friendslist, please feel free to message me.
Queue begins here:
dansrjlsigmanfragbert (who has prepaid)heldc (prepaid)lilacsigil DONE- Current Mood: determined
The entire custom icon gallery
One is not pictured here because it's a surprise for its recipient.
Public post, in case people I'm not friended with would like art.
One is not pictured here because it's a surprise for its recipient.
Public post, in case people I'm not friended with would like art.
cyclophile, your art is done.cry_gaia, your art is done.notgarystu, your art is done.skjam, your art is done.heldc, your art is done.jennilee_rose, your art is done. ydnic, your art is done.mysteri, you're up next.kriatyrr, waiting on your photos.All Saturday Slots have been taken. I will announce Sunday slots sometime tonight.
Attention: My awesome friends are AWESOME.
Thanks to
cyclophile for pimping my sale.- Current Mood:working and grateful
I am taking ten commissions Saturday and if those go, ten on Sunday for LJ icons.
I will provide digital art of 500 x 500 and the LJ icon.
If you wish a commission, it's paypal only, and the icons are $5 each.
Comment to the post if you'd like one.
Thanks for any consideration.
10.skjam
9. cry_gaia
8. cyclophile
7. notgarystu
6. heldc
5. jennilee_rose
4. kriatyrr pending photo
3. ydnic pending photo
2.kandrinchae on hold 'til Friday.
1. mysteri
I will provide digital art of 500 x 500 and the LJ icon.
If you wish a commission, it's paypal only, and the icons are $5 each.
Comment to the post if you'd like one.
Thanks for any consideration.
10.
skjamcry_gaiacyclophilenotgarystuheldcjennilee_rosekriatyrr pending photoydnic pending photo2.
kandrinchae on hold 'til Friday.mysteri- Current Mood: determined
I haven't done a good link roundup in a long time. Probably three years. I was too despondent about the fact that the Lemur had been voted back in. But now seems like a good time to do it again.
George W. Bush
stevenh A gesture of farewell to George W. Bush as he leaves office: Mount Flushmore. Yes. That's right. When he leaves office, we all flush our toilets in a simultaneous "goodbye!" gesture.
viaceruleanst: George Bush is trying to get a bill passed that whoever the next president is won't have the option of bringing the troops home.
John McCain:
viaarkhamrefugee: McCain is very much for warrantless wiretapping.
viaapestyle: McCain's family values...he comes home from war to find his wife aged and became disfigured in an accident. So he dumped her for a new wife with old money.
reruns of stuff I've already shared:
McCain makes a truly ugly joke about Chelsea, her mother, and Janet Reno.
McCain calls his wife the C word in front of press and aides.
Barack Obama:
viasanity_cheque: Why does Obama cause open weeping and make some people fear he's got a Cult of Personality? bradhicks gives his take on it.
Counterpunch.Org: An open letter to certain white Hillary supporters threatening to withhold support of Barack Obama, a reminder that John McCain is not pro-woman, and Barack Obama is; as well as a reminder that Barack Obama's platform and Hillary's are not that different...so is it really feminist to stay home or vote McCain, or is there another issue entirely?
From the Mail in UK: Why both Obama and McCain need Hillary Clinton.
George W. Bush
stevenh A gesture of farewell to George W. Bush as he leaves office: Mount Flushmore. Yes. That's right. When he leaves office, we all flush our toilets in a simultaneous "goodbye!" gesture.via
ceruleanst: George Bush is trying to get a bill passed that whoever the next president is won't have the option of bringing the troops home. John McCain:
via
arkhamrefugee: McCain is very much for warrantless wiretapping.via
apestyle: McCain's family values...he comes home from war to find his wife aged and became disfigured in an accident. So he dumped her for a new wife with old money.reruns of stuff I've already shared:
McCain makes a truly ugly joke about Chelsea, her mother, and Janet Reno.
McCain calls his wife the C word in front of press and aides.
Barack Obama:
via
sanity_cheque: Why does Obama cause open weeping and make some people fear he's got a Cult of Personality? bradhicks gives his take on it.Counterpunch.Org: An open letter to certain white Hillary supporters threatening to withhold support of Barack Obama, a reminder that John McCain is not pro-woman, and Barack Obama is; as well as a reminder that Barack Obama's platform and Hillary's are not that different...so is it really feminist to stay home or vote McCain, or is there another issue entirely?
From the Mail in UK: Why both Obama and McCain need Hillary Clinton.
I'm not so much defending, because as LJ SUP decided to do it, it was a pretty foolish way to go about it given the existing history between LJ and its userbase.
But I am pointing out a few things:
www.greatestjournal.com is dying. The people who own the GJ servers know it's dying. They aren't doing anything about it, so the site is pretty much stuck as is until the site overloads and crashes.Has had a lot of bells and whistles over LJ, but LJ still had better and different ones.
www.insanejournal.com - according to the Twitter, the site goes down fast as [insert prostitute joke here] and frequently. Their bells and whistles aren't worth a tinker's damn until they get the site stable.
www.deadjournal.com - doesn't seem to have a whole lot of problems that I am aware of. May be invite only now, now that I think about it. No bells and whistles, really, that I'm aware of.
Here are some other LJ clones, but they come with their own problems.
www.myspace.com - puh-LEASE. I know some people like it, but I find it kludgy, crammed with kiddiebloggers and people whose idea of designing a webpage consists of music, videos, and animated .gif backgrounds. I can't really speak on bells and whistles here. I hate the site so much I have no idea what else you can do on it.
TypePad and Wordpress are okay, but a bit complicated for some people.
Vox belongs to 6A and is intentionally set up for people who can't or won't or don't want to use "that complicated HTML stuff."
Mindsay is a "who?" sort of blog service.
Blogger belongs to Google. Also full of ads.
Twitter isn't really a blog. You only get 140 characters a go.
I really don't think SUP was trying to put one over on the userbase. I mean, think about it for a second. There is no possible way that "you can't make totally free accounts, only plus ones" would ever have been able to keep secret.
Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
Honestly, LJ's problem is that they have no concept of PR. So they keep shooting themselves in the foot by not taking into account how interactive a medium they operate in.
And LJ is still free. You, and any new users, aren't paying any money for a Plus level account. Putting up with ads is not costing you anything but one to thirty seconds of annoyance -- and not even that if you have an ad-blocking program installed. And for that matter, anyone who had a basic account before the announcement still has one.
They didn't just automatically jump straight to paid accounts, which I'm sure most people will agree would be way worse than simply subjecting new users to some ads that are easily blocked.
So while LJ has done some truly goofy stuff, and been equally goofy about relaying any information to the userbase, it's still better than a good number of the alternatives. But really, why are people surprised? Not because of LJ's continuing goofiness about policy and their equal goofiness about communicating to the userbase about it. But, I mean, bills go up every year for every other service. LJ hung out for nearly a decade with completely free ad-free service. That's pretty impressive. GJ tried to go one better than LJ with the userpics and other shinies, and look where that got them. And GJ has ads, too.
I know LJ "promised" the free accounts wouldn't go away. But reailty intruded.
They're obviously not making enough revenue on paid accounts from LJ users [probably partially brought on by Strikethrough responses] so in order to keep the site going, they had to get more money somewhere. What else were they going to do? The alternatives were either the one they took, or going paid-only, which would've been far less popular, IMHO.
I crosspost to my IJ, GJ, and DJ accounts. I have since Strikethrough, and I will continue to do so.
If you feel you have to go, I understand, and hope you'll find a way to keep in touch anyway.
Plus, on a selfish and personal note -- I like the people I've met and connected with here; I wouldn't have my boyfriend if not for LJ, even! This was the community that all pulled together on 9/11. This is the community that pulled together when Atlanta became Beyblade central yesterday.
And if y'all scatter to the four winds, I won't know how to keep in touch with you all. I see no reason to cut off my nose [or anybody else's] to spite LJ's face.
UPDATE: Those interests that got removed? SUP has backpedaled, due to the flailing, wailing, and usual histrionics, I expect.
But I am pointing out a few things:
www.greatestjournal.com is dying. The people who own the GJ servers know it's dying. They aren't doing anything about it, so the site is pretty much stuck as is until the site overloads and crashes.
www.insanejournal.com - according to the Twitter, the site goes down fast as [insert prostitute joke here] and frequently. Their bells and whistles aren't worth a tinker's damn until they get the site stable.
www.deadjournal.com - doesn't seem to have a whole lot of problems that I am aware of. May be invite only now, now that I think about it. No bells and whistles, really, that I'm aware of.
Here are some other LJ clones, but they come with their own problems.
www.myspace.com - puh-LEASE. I know some people like it, but I find it kludgy, crammed with kiddiebloggers and people whose idea of designing a webpage consists of music, videos, and animated .gif backgrounds. I can't really speak on bells and whistles here. I hate the site so much I have no idea what else you can do on it.
TypePad and Wordpress are okay, but a bit complicated for some people.
Vox belongs to 6A and is intentionally set up for people who can't or won't or don't want to use "that complicated HTML stuff."
Mindsay is a "who?" sort of blog service.
Blogger belongs to Google. Also full of ads.
Twitter isn't really a blog. You only get 140 characters a go.
I really don't think SUP was trying to put one over on the userbase. I mean, think about it for a second. There is no possible way that "you can't make totally free accounts, only plus ones" would ever have been able to keep secret.
Honestly, LJ's problem is that they have no concept of PR. So they keep shooting themselves in the foot by not taking into account how interactive a medium they operate in.
And LJ is still free. You, and any new users, aren't paying any money for a Plus level account. Putting up with ads is not costing you anything but one to thirty seconds of annoyance -- and not even that if you have an ad-blocking program installed. And for that matter, anyone who had a basic account before the announcement still has one.
They didn't just automatically jump straight to paid accounts, which I'm sure most people will agree would be way worse than simply subjecting new users to some ads that are easily blocked.
So while LJ has done some truly goofy stuff, and been equally goofy about relaying any information to the userbase, it's still better than a good number of the alternatives. But really, why are people surprised? Not because of LJ's continuing goofiness about policy and their equal goofiness about communicating to the userbase about it. But, I mean, bills go up every year for every other service. LJ hung out for nearly a decade with completely free ad-free service. That's pretty impressive. GJ tried to go one better than LJ with the userpics and other shinies, and look where that got them. And GJ has ads, too.
I know LJ "promised" the free accounts wouldn't go away. But reailty intruded.
They're obviously not making enough revenue on paid accounts from LJ users [probably partially brought on by Strikethrough responses] so in order to keep the site going, they had to get more money somewhere. What else were they going to do? The alternatives were either the one they took, or going paid-only, which would've been far less popular, IMHO.
I crosspost to my IJ, GJ, and DJ accounts. I have since Strikethrough, and I will continue to do so.
If you feel you have to go, I understand, and hope you'll find a way to keep in touch anyway.
Plus, on a selfish and personal note -- I like the people I've met and connected with here; I wouldn't have my boyfriend if not for LJ, even! This was the community that all pulled together on 9/11. This is the community that pulled together when Atlanta became Beyblade central yesterday.
And if y'all scatter to the four winds, I won't know how to keep in touch with you all. I see no reason to cut off my nose [or anybody else's] to spite LJ's face.
UPDATE: Those interests that got removed? SUP has backpedaled, due to the flailing, wailing, and usual histrionics, I expect.
via sabrebabe, with permission:
I've been hoarding stuff to give to </a></b></a>chorus_of_chaos for her new place. Granted, I can't give her everything she needs, but I do have a bit of stuff. Blankets, old afghans (for the dogs and cats) and a nice haul of cheap-ass kitchen appliances that Wal-Mart practicaly gave away on Black Friday. In that catch was a small crock pot, a chopper, a toaster, a small coffee maker, and a hand mixer. Also (because it *was* Black Friday) is a nice set (for 4) of Corningware dishes and a set of cheap-ass utinsels with the drawer insert. And I've been stashing small bits of cash on a Wal-Mart gift card because she'll need food, paper goods and cleaning supplies, as well as feminine supplies and "health and beauty aids".
So, anyone who would like to contribute to the cause, she now has a destination address. Please don't send stuff to her current address right now. Due to the holidays, she may not get it in time. She also has a Paypal account if you want to go that route.
Stuff she needs/can use:
*Wal-Mart gift cards (for the above mentioned supplies)
*warm comfy things, like blankets, socks, sweatsuits, big fluffy pillows, etc.
*LIQUID VITAMINS!!! (she's horribly malnourished, due to the idiot not bothering to cook or buy food for her (however, he always seems to have just enough money to buy McDonalds for minself). Liquid Vitamins, mostly B-complex if you can find them. Lots of them.
*lotion for really, super-dry skin. Lots of it.
*Gift Certificates for books (or, see her Amazon list). We're not sure if she'll have television yet. And internet access is also up in the air at the moment.
*Anime Dvds (same reason)
*coupons, coupons, coupons!
*pretty, shiney things to hang from windows.
*bells, bells, bells and windchimes too!
*baked goods that can be frozen
*jams, jellies, chutneys, peanut butter, Nutella and the like
*lots of email, snailmail and support
Contact </a></b></a>chorus_of_chaos for her landing address (or P.O. Box)to send stuff to. I've got lists around here to help me remember everything, and I'm certain I'm forgetting half or what I need. But she's not staying in that hellhole anymore. If you live in the nearby area (on either end) we could use help in loading and unloading the truck even though I'll have a nice big surly teenager with me :D And Emili (a friend of mine who wanted to leave last month!) too. My eldest child will meet us at the landing point to cook up a bunch of meals to divvy up into smaller portions to freeze. Nice to know she went to culinary school for a higher purpose :D
I know I'm missing something. I can't think of what, though. Gas and food will be tight on the road, but we'll make it. I'm more concerned with getting her settled into her new place and set up a few community agencies to see to her immediate (and long-term) needs. I may have to knock a few heads together, but I have a nice hockey stick for that. :D
*****
Indigo here.
This post is public because I'm hoping generous eyes will see it.
I've got a care package I've been adding to in drips and drabs and will be sending along. But she's establishing a household on her own with nothing but the kindness of friends, because her abusive soon-to-be-ex has squandered everything including her health. Best not to get me started. I offered every help for abused woman I could think of, but none of them were really helpful. The mental illness got in their way. This is our government, huh? We'd love to help you except we won't unless you fit in our neat little cubbyholes.
If you have anything you feel like you could spare, I'm surechorus_of_chaos would appreciate it. Or if you could help out sabrebabe with the gas, even.
ETA:
chorus_of_chaos's end of this trip is in NY ...Western NY, I think.
sabrebabe's end of this trip is in the UP in Michigan.
sabrebabe, with permission:I've been hoarding stuff to give to </a></b></a>
chorus_of_chaos for her new place. Granted, I can't give her everything she needs, but I do have a bit of stuff. Blankets, old afghans (for the dogs and cats) and a nice haul of cheap-ass kitchen appliances that Wal-Mart practicaly gave away on Black Friday. In that catch was a small crock pot, a chopper, a toaster, a small coffee maker, and a hand mixer. Also (because it *was* Black Friday) is a nice set (for 4) of Corningware dishes and a set of cheap-ass utinsels with the drawer insert. And I've been stashing small bits of cash on a Wal-Mart gift card because she'll need food, paper goods and cleaning supplies, as well as feminine supplies and "health and beauty aids". So, anyone who would like to contribute to the cause, she now has a destination address. Please don't send stuff to her current address right now. Due to the holidays, she may not get it in time. She also has a Paypal account if you want to go that route.
Stuff she needs/can use:
*Wal-Mart gift cards (for the above mentioned supplies)
*warm comfy things, like blankets, socks, sweatsuits, big fluffy pillows, etc.
*LIQUID VITAMINS!!! (she's horribly malnourished, due to the idiot not bothering to cook or buy food for her (however, he always seems to have just enough money to buy McDonalds for minself). Liquid Vitamins, mostly B-complex if you can find them. Lots of them.
*lotion for really, super-dry skin. Lots of it.
*Gift Certificates for books (or, see her Amazon list). We're not sure if she'll have television yet. And internet access is also up in the air at the moment.
*Anime Dvds (same reason)
*coupons, coupons, coupons!
*pretty, shiney things to hang from windows.
*bells, bells, bells and windchimes too!
*baked goods that can be frozen
*jams, jellies, chutneys, peanut butter, Nutella and the like
*lots of email, snailmail and support
Contact </a></b></a>
chorus_of_chaos for her landing address (or P.O. Box)to send stuff to. I've got lists around here to help me remember everything, and I'm certain I'm forgetting half or what I need. But she's not staying in that hellhole anymore. If you live in the nearby area (on either end) we could use help in loading and unloading the truck even though I'll have a nice big surly teenager with me :D And Emili (a friend of mine who wanted to leave last month!) too. My eldest child will meet us at the landing point to cook up a bunch of meals to divvy up into smaller portions to freeze. Nice to know she went to culinary school for a higher purpose :DI know I'm missing something. I can't think of what, though. Gas and food will be tight on the road, but we'll make it. I'm more concerned with getting her settled into her new place and set up a few community agencies to see to her immediate (and long-term) needs. I may have to knock a few heads together, but I have a nice hockey stick for that. :D
*****
Indigo here.
This post is public because I'm hoping generous eyes will see it.
I've got a care package I've been adding to in drips and drabs and will be sending along. But she's establishing a household on her own with nothing but the kindness of friends, because her abusive soon-to-be-ex has squandered everything including her health. Best not to get me started. I offered every help for abused woman I could think of, but none of them were really helpful. The mental illness got in their way. This is our government, huh? We'd love to help you except we won't unless you fit in our neat little cubbyholes.
If you have anything you feel like you could spare, I'm sure
chorus_of_chaos would appreciate it. Or if you could help out sabrebabe with the gas, even.ETA:
chorus_of_chaos's end of this trip is in NY ...Western NY, I think.sabrebabe's end of this trip is in the UP in Michigan.Who's your current favorite celebrity? Which celebrity do you never want to see again?
The fave: Bruce Willis, who I've loved since the first time I laid eyes on him in Moonlighting, back in the day.
The one I'd throw off a cliff: That Woman, natch. I do not like her, Sam I Am. She is morally bankrupt as a human being, I fear for the life of her unborn child, and she ain't much of an actor either.
This is supposed to help me clear writer's block?
I've been up since 6:50 this morning, and suffice to say that this is the most strenous day I've had in a very, very long time. I am barely even able to type, let alone sit up at this point. At least the trash from lunch and dinner was easily disposed of. I've never been the best with chores.
I'm not sure I want to wake up tomorrow. I can only fear for the worst regarding Shay. My love is probably gone. I hope and pray that's the case, and not that he's up and walking after the fact.
But
There are now about thirty of us in here. And we're on night mode. No unnecessary lights except on the roof so the Air Force can see where to land if they weren't just shining us on. It's too dark to safely let in any more survivors.
And for a moment of something else I didn't think I'd find myself doing:
Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
If I should die before I wake
I pray the Lord my soul to take.
Sorry about the long silence. It's been a harrowing day.
I had to get away from the blogosphere for a bit. Too much input. Too much stuff I was having emotional reactions to.doc_nebula going all mad scientist on the zombie horde
...all of this and still not a peep from
Not to mention the people I still haven't heard from.
It was starting to damage my calm, to quote Jayne. So I went to be productive.
After my last entry, I changed out of my work clothes, because they're not sturdy, and they were loose enough that a zombie could grab me. This also led to a realization I may never forgive myself for. My hair. My beautiful locks that I've spent ten years growing? They had to go. Once we're on the move --and eventually we'll have to be--they'd be easy for a zombie to grab me and pull me down by. So my hair is short now. Like shaved, short.
I needed something to distract myself from that. I had no idea I'd take the loss so hard.
So I got some of the young women to help me set up an indoctrination center.
Just inside Car Care, people got to see a looping clip from the most recent Dawn of the Dead, side by side with the clip we took in the manager's office of the one bitten we let in. So far, we've been very lucky that people are clever enough to see one was Hollywood, the other took place today [and we can prove it], and are not arguing the point with us. They're either taking their chances outside, or they're saying their goodbyes and trying to look that poor bastard in the eyes before the gunshot takes the light out of them.
I also realized I reflexively left with my work bag on me, so I had my copy of Max Brooks' World War Z. Again, pretty easy to see the similarity between what is described in that book we thought was fiction, and what was happening.
Somebody, I don't know who -- I think it was the manager at the Willy's I usually -- used to -- go to every few weeks, suggested we use the radios to contact each other so we didn't lose track, and also so we could contact people on the outside who might need assistance getting in. This is why I picked the Super Wal-Mart near the Big Chicken. Because not only did it have a fully stocked grocery section, but you can get fucking everything at a Wal-Mart. After we barricaded all the entrances, we were able to have a pretty nice lunch made on camp stoves and toaster ovens, and microwaves. Well, most folks were. I still can't choke anything down.
The kids in here with us enjoyed ice cream. Despite the best efforts of the Geek Squad and the Good Old Boys [who finally deferred, by the way, when they realized we know what the fuck we're talking about when it comes to walking dead], people are losing hope.
A middle-aged woman said she was going to check the pharmacy to make sure there were meds for some of the older people in here. She just took seven or eight Vicodin, and checked out. Part of me understands where she was coming from.
We were able to raise somebody at Dobbins, thank the powers, and they're mobilizing to get us -- provided all goes well. But things have a way of always going wrong in situations like these.
So now I'm wearing tight workout wear. It's not flattering, but it's tight enough nothing can grab me easily. I've taken
We're trying to figure out a way to get a bunch of lit tiki-torches out by the car care area so as to provide a landing strip for the uninfected, and to give the Air Force the best way to reach us. And Zombies are, apparently, possessed of enough self-preservation instinct to avoid fire.
I'm keeping myself busy now, packing camping backpacks with portable food that doesn't perish easily. Canned goods, granola bars, fruit snacks, and so on. Because if Dobbins does come get us, we will need to be ready quickly.
We've got a generator with gas in it for should the power go out. That's one blessing. The Atlanta area gets so many power failures during summer thunderstorm season that being without power is barely even an impediment.
But still. It's gotten dark now, and who knows what the rest of the night will bring.
C'mon, Air Force.
I'll try to post a little more frequently. Thanks for the words of concern. The guys have started a rotating guard walk-the-perimeter thing. So far, so good. I think getting those loading dock doors closed so early was our saving grace.
Be well, everybody.
We've had a relatively peaceful morning as peaceful mornings go. CNN
has yanked its coverage off the web. Guess they didn't want to cause
a panic. W'ever.
But we've started getting more living coming in. I'm guessing some of
the scared teen or oldsters who worked here called their families. So
now the Car Care center is compromised a little. We had the guys with
the dogs checking those who came in, and so far that's working.
ETA: Lucky the refugees were smart enough to come that way, where there are garage doors we can open and close easily -- and reinforce with stuff straight out of automotive and housewares.
But it's getting ugly on several levels.
People don't want to believe there's no way to save a friend or lover
or family member who's been bitten. And while having the DVD with
Dawn of the Dead handy to play as an object lesson is
nice, it won't work until they see it for themselves. So we stuck
one in the manager's office and one of our tech geniuses wired it so
they could watch it happen. Once that one went over and got up, blam.
It's just no fun to be around for. The emotional turmoil is making me antsy.
And the political turmoil is even worse.
Because I now am totally relegated to netdiving and staying out the
way. The rednecks have arrived...and they won't listen to anybody
black or female. I happen to be both.
UPDATE: Ken and Dwayne from my comic store, though, seem to be handling them.
The world is coming to an end, and people can't let go of this petty crap!
Sickening.
If I wasn't already too sick from the events of the day to have eaten
anything, I'd probably be throwing up.
I've seen reports from LJ friends who have been bitten.
Goodbye, dear friends.
And to everybody else -- if you live near them...you know what to do.
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